When we ran empty of cranberries (second)

Do good because you simply are that good.

2011-09-09T15:34:00.000-07:00

I learned an important lesson from the American Dream:

"Don't do good because you expect good to be done back."
"Do good because you simply are that good."

Not to be sent away, Come give love

2011-09-05T20:54:00.000-07:00

I had a second chance with the Holy Spirit.

A homeless man came up to me.
"Can you spare a penny?"

Right beside me was a friend whom I just befriended.
"I am really sorry, I have none on me."

I wanted to give.
But the Holy spirit said, "wait, watch."

It was an awkward silence but I sadly shook my head.

He walked right into the church and waited.

An elder walked out of the church with her kid.
When he asked her the same question, she too declined and walked up to us saying, "Can you give him some money so that he can go away?"

It was here that I became appalled.
Then Holy spirit said, "This is where it gets down hill. They came, not to be sent away. Now give him what you have planned to do."

This time I walked up and asked for his hand.
Once he stretched it open, I lay a stack of coins.

Usually, they will accept whatever change and mutter a thanks.
The main intention is just to get some money.

However, this guy felt different.

Instantly, his eyes blew wide open.
He stood quiet for the longest time I can imagine.
Maybe he was on high or shocked.
But all he said was, "oh my God. Thank you! God bless your heart, sir."

How did he know that it was in my heart?
How could we have said 'that they may go away' when they should be 'brought in'?

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Trevor Hall - Brand New Day

(“Brand New Day” offers an upbeat message of accomplishing freedom by escaping selfish desires and bad habits. Hall says the song was inspired by Indian mystic Swami Vivekananda, who said, “Don’t fall asleep in the snow, or else you’ll never wake up.” Not to sleep in the snow means not to grow cold or be selfish, or you will never realize that you are lost yourself. Put a crown on the king is to put a consciousness on your mind.)

Don’t fall asleep in the snow,
Come up up up from below,
Wipe the sleep from your eyes
Oh, my, my!
Shake the dust of your hands,
And come run free on this land
if you wanna survive!

It’s time to wake up and sing
It’s time to wake up and sing
It’s time to wake up and sing
Put the crown on the king
Put the crown on the king
Live your life.

Now fallen soldiers arise,
Raise your hands to the skys.
I tell ya Momma's alive,
Lift up your love to the sky.
The sky don't don't question why,
This strength is of another kind,
Don't look around just look inside,
Ain't no lie it never dies so

We gonna wake up and sing,
We gonna wake up and sing,
We gonna wake up and sing,
Put the crown on the king
Put the crown on the king
It's your life

Sun coming up and everyone knows
Holding on to a time it's time to let go
This ain't for the money and not for the show
Like a river come down
Like a river come flow

I know you know we live we see
Were running to the rhythm and the rhythm don't sleep
Cook up the mixture
Tell all the listeners
This is the sound and we've come to listen

Chorus:

Come rise up, Come give love,
What you waiting for?
It's a brand new day.
All along here and now
What you waiting for
It's a brand new day

What you waiting for?
Wake up, wake up, wake up,
Wake up, wake up, wake up,
It’s a brand new day!
Wake up, wake up, wake up,
Wake up, wake up, wake up,
Let’s go it’s a brand new day!

Wake up, wake up, wake up,
Wake up, wake up, wake up,
It’s your brand new day!
Wake up, wake up, wake up,
Wake up, wake up, wake up,
Let’s go it’s a brand new day!

Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh

"Well, there’s a lot of color."

2011-08-24T14:21:00.000-07:00

By Michael Inbar
TODAY.com contributor
updated 3/21/2011 10:59:28 AM ET

After a burst appendix nearly cost 4-year-old Colton Burpo his life in 2003, his parents were thankful just to have him alive and well. But when he opened up about his brush with death a few months later, they were shocked when he described a very vivid trip to heaven, and spoke of matters about which he had no apparent way of knowing.

During an automobile trip, when Sonja Burpo asked him about his memories of being in the hospital, little Colton replied: “Yes, Mommy, I remember — that’s where the angels sang to me.” A sweet answer, to be sure — but then Colton made his parents’ jaws drop when he told them about sitting in Jesus’ lap, watching his parents while he lay seemingly near death, and meeting his great-grandfather.

But most poignantly, Colton described meeting a sibling in heaven — even though he had no way of knowing that his mother had miscarried two years before he was born, since his parents had never told him.

Jesus and John the Baptist
Todd Burpo began telling of his son’s heaven-sent visions from the pulpit of the Crossroads Wesleyan Church in Imperial, Neb., where he serves as pastor. Word of mouth spread, and the family landed a book deal. The book — “Heaven Is for Real,” written by Todd with co-writer Lynn Vincent — has become a best-seller, with some 1.5 million copies in print since its release in November.

Appearing live on TODAY Monday with Sonja and Colton, who’s now 11, Todd told Matt Lauer he understands that naysayers may believe Colton’s story is a little too heavenly to be true — initially, so did he and Sonja. “At first we were surprised; we never anticipated to talk to our son about these things,” Todd told Matt Lauer.

“We didn’t share at first, and then once we started sharing, people were amazed,” Sonja Burpo added. “They were encouraged by what we were sharing with them.”

Colton was stricken with appendicitis shortly before his fourth birthday. Family guilt was heavy — for five days he lay getting sicker and sicker with what the family believed was stomach flu, which had previously hit Colton’s older sister Cassie.

Little Colton nearly didn’t make it: He lay in a hospital bed for 17 days. When he finally rallied, the family rejoiced — but they were floored when, months later, the boy began matter-of-factly describing what he had experienced when he was in between life and death: seeing Jesus dressed in royal purple, meeting John the Baptist, having angels sing to him to ease his anxiety.

The Burpos believed these were things Colton could have gleaned from his Bible studies. But he also told his mother he saw her talking on the phone in another room while he was having surgery, and saw his father praying in a small room, all while he was seated in Jesus’ lap.

“What caught my attention was he could tell me where I was while he was in surgery,” Todd told Lauer. “The surgeon couldn’t tell me that, the nurses couldn’t, my wife couldn’t tell me where I was praying. But he could tell me.”

Shocking revelation
Colton also spoke of meeting a long-departed relative in heaven, telling NBC News: “I was just sitting by the Holy Spirit and then this guy comes up to me and says, ‘Are you Todd’s son?’ I say yes, and he says, ‘Well, I’m his grandfather.’ ”
Colton said that everyone in heaven has wings. On Monday, he described his great-grandfather “Pops” as being “very big, huge wings, curly hair, a big smile, and he was very nice.”

But the real shocker came when Colton told his mother, “Mommy, I have two sisters.” Sonja told her son that he had to be referring to his oldest sister, Cassie, and his cousin Traci, but he responded: “No — I have two sisters. You had a baby die in your tummy, didn’t you?”

Sonja told Lauer the family had never uttered a word about the miscarriage to Colton — and what’s more, they never even learned the sex of their miscarried child. “It was a private hurt that we didn’t even share with our friends,” Sonja said, adding Colton’s revelation was at first “shocking, but then a relief that she’s OK, which we didn’t know she was a she.”

In a subsequent TODAY segment Monday, Sonja filled in Colton’s description of his meeting with his sister: “He told us what she looked like, and she wouldn’t stop hugging him. And she doesn’t have a name.”

“When he told us about his sister in heaven, that we hadn’t told him about, [it was] another one of those ‘holy cow’ moments — OK, he can’t make this stuff up, he can’t invent this; no memory was planted,” Todd told Lauer. “But the peace that came over us, and the healing, like, ‘Wow, I have a daughter in heaven waiting for me’ — I think a lot of people need that type of hope and healing, too. And I think that’s what a lot of people are finding when they hear Colton’s testimony, to know what they have to look forward to.”

When Lauer asked Colton what heaven looked like, the 11-year-old replied, “Well, there’s a lot of color. There are a lot of people and a lot of angels.”

In his second segment later on Monday, Colton gave Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb some additional details — such as the fact that there are no old people in heaven. “Nobody wears glasses, [and] you’re in like your 20s, 30s.”

Todd Burpo told The New York Times that the family is donating much of the money they make from the book sales. As for Colton, he’s mostly happy his story is helping people.

“People are getting blessed, and they’re going to have healing from their hurts,” the boy told the New York Times. “I’m happy for that.”

---------------------------

Would this even be a money-making scheme if someone is willing to have given away book sales money?

It is Furious

2011-08-22T10:29:00.000-07:00

I am feeling more and more..

"His love is deep, His love is wide and it covers us.
His love is fierce, His love is strong and it is furious.
His love is sweet, His love is wild, and it's waking hearts to life." - Jeremy Riddle, Bethel Church

Eph 3:14-19

PM:
"I had a huge congregation for 20 years. Thousands of people came. I was successful, I was doing well with my strength.. But God had to bring me to my knees. The big event we conducted faced a huge storm, I fell from the roof and hurt my arm, my father-in-law came to help and died.. I heeded God's call and here, we came to San Francisco. I have been here for 10 years and now, we are a force to be reckon with."
- introducing his first move to C3 San Francisco and the wake of C3 Fairfield and C3 San Jose

Jay:
"These are kids from the Project, from the streets. They are tough. They have seen their own parents get shot and died right in front of their own eyes.. They are in gangs and they need the Spirit. Because the Spirit is Freedom. They need to be freed."
- introducing to his ministry as a youth pastor

PG:
"The Bay Area is one of the most unsaved regions in the United States. It used to be the North Pacific, Seattle region. But no more. Less than 10% are Christians who even go to Church and even more than 10% unemployment rate. (national average is 10%)"
- introducing the plans to build 30 more C3 churches in the Bay Area

Gary:
"I have been inviting people to come. I have put up "reserved" seats week after week. But they never come. But I am standing in faith for you, brother. The day will come, I will help put up "reserved" seats for you! They will come!"
- Church floor manager

------------------

God, teach me to more compassionate and love more like them.
Your love is truly, Furious.

But Love is not a victory march, it's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

2011-07-28T10:45:00.000-07:00

i heard there was a secret chord
that david played and it pleased the lord
but you don't really care for music, do you
well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth
the minor fall and the major lift
the baffled king composing hallelujah

hallelujah...

well your faith was strong but you needed proof
you saw her bathing on the roof
her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
she tied you to her kitchen chair
she broke your throne and she cut your hair
and from your lips she drew the hallelujah

hallelujah...

baby i've been here before
i've seen this room and i've walked this floor
i used to live alone before i knew you
i've seen your flag on the marble arch
but love is not a victory march
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

hallelujah...

well there was a time when you let me know
what's really going on below
but now you never show that to me do you
but remember when i moved in you
and the holy dove was moving too
and every breath we drew was hallelujah

well, maybe there's a god above
but all i've ever learned from love
was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
it's not a cry that you hear at night
it's not somebody who's seen the light
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

hallelujah...

"Hallelujah" is a song written by Canadian singer-songwriter Leonard Cohen, originally released on his studio album Various Positions (1984). Achieving little initial success, the song found greater popular acclaim through a cover by John Cale, which later formed the basis for a cover by Jeff Buckley. In recent years several cover versions have been performed by a large number and broad range of artists, both in recordings and in concert.

"Hallelujah", in its original version, is a song in "12/8 feel", which evokes the styles of both waltz and gospel music. Written in the key of C major, the chord progression follows the lyric "it goes like this, the fourth, the fifth, the minor fall, and the major lift": C, F, G, A minor, F.

--------------------

In 2004, Buckley's version was ranked number 259 on Rolling Stone's "The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time". The same year Time called Buckley's version "exquisitely sung," observing "Cohen murmured the original like a dirge, but ... Buckley treated the ... song like a tiny capsule of humanity, using his voice to careen between glory and sadness, beauty and pain... It's one of the great songs."

In September 2007, a poll of fifty songwriters conducted by the magazine Q listed "Hallelujah" among the all-time "Top 10 Greatest Tracks" with John Legend calling Buckley's version "as near perfect as you can get. The lyrics to Hallelujah are just incredible and the melody's gorgeous and then there's Jeff's interpretation of it. It's one of the most beautiful pieces of recorded music I’ve ever heard." In July 2009, the Buckley track was ranked number three on the 2009 Triple J Hottest 100 of All Time, a listener poll held every decade by the Australian radio station Triple J."

Still, Buckley's version was not an instant hit, nor did Buckley live to see the full measure of the reception his recording would ultimately have; he died in 1997. The album on which it appeared did not go Gold in the U.S. until 2002, nine years after its release. In fact, like Cohen's original, the Buckley version was never officially released as a single, and the singer's cover first charted posthumously in 2006. In March of that year, Buckley had his first national Top 10 bestseller when "Hallelujah" went to number seven in Norway. In 2007 it made the top 3 on the Swedish charts. In March 2008 it hit number one in France. In April 2008 it topped Billboard's Hot Digital Songs in the U.S., where the sudden resurgence of interest catapulted Buckley's version past both Gold and Platinum status, the RIAA certifying the digital track on April 22, 2008.

The Buckley version has been widely featured in film and television dramas, including the series The West Wing, House MD, Crossing Jordan, Without a Trace, The O.C., Scrubs, House, Dirt, Criminal Minds, ER, Third Watch, Ugly Betty and LAX, and the films Feast of Love, The Edukators, Vinterkyss and Lord of War.[citation needed] "Hallelujah can be joyous or bittersweet, depending on what part of it you use", Time quoted the late Buckley's publisher as saying of the track, and the magazine opined that its liberal use in some cases was "a tacit admission that neither the writers nor the actors could convey their characters' emotions as well as Buckley."

--------------------

In 2005, "Hallelujah" was named the tenth-greatest Canadian song of all time in Chart magazine's annual readers' poll. The BBC commemorated the 25th anniversary of the first recording with an hour-long radio documentary, The Fourth, The Fifth, The Minor Fall, in which the song's history and numerous cover versions were presented and discussed.

On 21 December 2008, "Hallelujah" became the first song in 51 years to occupy the first and second positions on the UK Singles Chart; The X-Factor winner Alexandra Burke's and American singer Jeff Buckley's covers were the two highest-selling songs in the week beginning 15 December 2008. Leonard Cohen's version attained the number 36 spot in the same chart.

In the February 2009 issue of Blender, "Hallelujah" was featured as that month's "Greatest Song Ever" (a monthly feature).

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Brother John's story made me understand the real meaning of Hallelujah.
Love is not a victory march and not somebody who's seen the Light.
It is cold and a broken Hallelujah.
It is about pressing in.

"In the Hebrew Bible hallelujah is actually a two-word phrase, not one word. The first part, hallelu, is the second-person imperative masculine plural form of the Hebrew verb hallal. However, "hallelujah" means more than simply "praise Yah", as the word hallel in Hebrew means a joyous praise in song, to boast in God. Hallel could also refer to someone who acts madly or foolishly.

The second part, Yah, is a shortened form of YHWH, the name for the Creator. This name is not pronounced by Jews, as they are not permitted to speak the name of God, and in any case the correct pronunciation is not known. However, it is sometimes rendered by Christians as "Yahweh" or "Jehovah". Although the Septuagint translates Yah as Kyrios (the Lord), it is not the title "lord".

In Psalm 150:6 the Hebrew reads kol han'shamah t'hallel yah; It appears in the Hebrew Bible as הללו~יה and הללו יה. In Psalm 148:1 the Hebrew says "הללו יה hallelu yah". It then says "hallelu eth-YHWH" as if using "yah" and "YHWH" interchangeably. The word "Yah" appears by itself as a divine name in poetry about 49 times in the Hebrew Bible (including hallelu yah), such as in Psalm 68:4–5 "who rides upon the deserts by his name Yah" and Exodus 15:2 "Yah is my strength and song". It also often appears at the end of Israelite theophoric names such as Isaiah "yeshayah(u), Yahweh is salvation" and Jeremiah "yirmeyah(u), Yahweh is exalted".

The word hallelujah occurring in Psalms is therefore a request for a congregation to join in praise toward God. It can be translated as "Praise God" or "Praise Yahweh, you people", and is usually worded in English contexts as "Praise the Lord".
"Hallelujah" appears in Revelation 19 in Greek transliteration as "hallelouia" (ἁλληλουϊά), the great song of praise to God for his triumph over the Whore of Babylon. This transliteration also appears in the Septuagint."

You can only request when there is no reason to do so.
Brother John did that.

"fried fish and French fries"

2011-07-28T10:25:00.001-07:00

"There are shootings every other day..
I hate to admit it that I am becoming desensitized, to knowing that everyday there is a shooting, while there is someone who is killed or hurt everyday."

I am in a different world.

OAKLAND, Calif. -- A man who was shot while feeding the homeless with his family in East Oakland early Wednesday morning has succumbed to his injuries, a police spokeswoman said.

Police responded to the 1000 block of 47th Avenue at about 12:30 a.m. Wednesday after someone flagged down a California Highway Patrol officer to report the shooting, Oakland police Sgt. Holly Joshi said.

Officers found the man and his wife suffering from gunshot wounds, and they were taken to a hospital. The woman's injuries were minor but the man died at the hospital, Joshi said today.

Police have not released his name, but published reports state that he was known in the neighborhood as "Brother John," and that he often fed the homeless. Joshi said the couple and their two young children had been handing out food to people in the area and had pulled over to the side of the road.

An unknown suspect then pulled up alongside them and began shooting, Joshi said.

"It is a case of mistaken gang-wars, drug abuse, anger, unfairness."

OAKLAND, Calif. (KGO) -- The only way police can describe it is a "senseless act." A man is clinging to life after being shot in the head while feeding the homeless in East Oakland early Wednesday morning.

It's not looking good. Police call these life threatening injuries. The man is on life support at a hospital in Oakland and homicide investigators are on this case. In addition to the man's wife being shot, a police source tells ABC7 one of the man's young daughters was also struck by a bullet. She and her mom are both expected to survive.

He is known simply as Brother John and just about everyone in the area knows him. At least once a week, Brother John, his wife and their two young daughters pass out home-cooked meals to East Oakland's homeless.

"He stops right in the middle of the road and gives you some food," Tony said.
"He came out here and fed us last night -- fried fish and French fries," Roxanne said.

That fish meal served in the shadow of the BART tracks and out of the back of Brother John's van on 47th Avenue may be his last and a man named Bill could be the last man he ever helped.

"He passed Brother John's van, he stopped and he backed up, then all of a sudden three shots, I ducked, then two more shots," Bill said.

The shooter fired into the van with 29-year-old Brother John and his family sitting inside.
Police do not have a motive for a shooting they can only describe as senseless.

"They were just trying to do a good deed and feed people that were less fortunate than they were," Oakland Police Offc. John Scott said.

And while everyone on these streets knows Brother John's name, few seem to know more about him than that.

Except Bill, who has called these streets home for more than 20 years. Once Brother John looked for help from the one person he was there to serve.

"One time he was going to stop because he said, 'You know, Bill, I don't think people appreciate what I do for them,' I said, 'Brother John, as long as one person appreciates what you do for them, that's good,'" Bill asid.

Wednesday, there was nothing but appreciation for Brother John and the kindness he showed for those who don't often get it -- appreciation and anger.

"That man don't have an enemy; it was a senseless killing," Bill said.

Police are not releasing Brother John's identity for his safety. The witness, Bill, says the shooter was alone in an older model turquoise Astro van. There is a $25,000 reward for an arrest in the case.

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The East Coast–West Coast Hip Hop Rivalry was a feud in the early-mid 1990s between artists and fans of the East Coast and West Coast hip-hop scenes. Seeming focal points of the feud were East Coast-based rapper The Notorious B.I.G. (and his label, Bad Boy Records), and West Coast-based rapper 2Pac (and his label, Death Row Records), both of whom were murdered.

The Notorious B.I.G.
Born in St. Mary's Hospital, despite later claiming to be raised in the Bedford-Stuyvesant section of Brooklyn, Wallace grew up in neighboring Clinton Hill. Wallace was the only child of Voletta Wallace, a Jamaican preschool teacher, and George Latore, a welder and small-time Jamaican politician. His father left the family when Wallace was two years old, leaving his mother to work two jobs while raising him. At the Queen of All Saints Middle School, Wallace excelled in class, winning several awards as an English student. He was nicknamed "Big" because of his size before he turned 10. At the age of 12, he began selling drugs. His mother, often away at work, did not know that her son was selling drugs until Wallace was an adult.

2Pac
Shakur was a voracious reader. He was inspired by a wide variety of writers, including William Shakespeare, Niccolò Machiavelli, Donald Goines, Sun Tzu, Kurt Vonnegut, Mikhail Bakunin, Maya Angelou, Alice Walker, and Khalil Gibran. In his book, Dyson describes the experience of visiting the home of Shakur's friend and promoter Leila Steinberg to find "the sea of books" once owned by Shakur.

Shakur never professed following a particular religion, but his lyrics in singles such as 'Only God Can Judge Me' and poems such as The Rose That Grew from Concrete suggests he believed in God. This means many analysts currently describe him as a deist. He believed in Karma, but rejected a literal afterlife and organized religion.

-----------------------------

The Rose that Grew from Concrete

Did you hear about the rose that grew
from a crack in the concrete?

Proving nature's law is wrong it
learned to walk with out having feet.

Funny it seems, but by keeping it's dreams,
it learned to breathe fresh air.

Long live the rose that grew from concrete
when no one else ever cared.

Tupac Shakur

Populate

2011-07-11T15:57:00.000-07:00

I attended my first C3 SF service last Sunday and I was blown away..

Listening to Kate, Hannah, & Phil representing Freedom House on Freedom Sunday made me realized how grim the situation is.

Some of them have been abducted and enslaved for as much as 23 years..
14,500 - 17,5000 trafficking victims in US every year.
10-30M slaves in the world.
In 1809, a slave costs USD$40,000.
In 2010, a slave costs USD$90.
54% of trafficking victims were introduced by strangers.
46% of trafficking victims were introduced by own relatives.
More than 70% of victims are females.
50% are children.

"Some survivors need life skills training. For instance, survivors may need to learn how to use the public transportation system, access education, employment and social services or obtain appropriate government identification cards. Freedom House will provide a myriad of life skills training with the help of coaches. Instruction will include assistance with driving, shopping, use of public transportation, social outings and more."

- A Way Home -
"Survivors need to determine where to go after rescue. Regardless of their citizenship, they may not be able to return home. Domestic survivors may not be able to return home. Foreign survivors may choose to remain in this country or return to their home country. While they weigh difficult decisions, Freedom House will provide a sanctuary that will give them the space to understand their options and make the right decision."

I have been so accustomed to helping Depression. But for the first time, I am presented with a greater challenge: To help Oppression. How many of us can even say, we are able to help the oppressed?

Joseph was sold by his brothers.
The miracle was in him forgiving his brothers.
But the power of God is that he redeemed an entire oikos.

Freedom is a redeeming power. We cannot redeem the past, we can only redeem a future.

http://www.freedom-house.us.com/index.php

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Guess who led the rescue usually? Thy Neighbour! The whistle-blower!

"A place you can go after you are being rescued, it is not a physical home. You now realize that you are redeemed by God and through God." - Kate

"What is the difference between Church and non-profit organizations? It was inhumanely possible." - Kate

"God is always pursuing people" - PM
"Poverty is caused by injustice and selfishness!" - PM
"God has prepared a course.. for Freedom!" - PM

"With Character and Spirit, we populate the city to be infused with His Revelation." - PM

God really seems most like He doesn't care when He knows most what He cares.

2011-05-13T15:19:00.000-07:00

I totally attest to my last post..
"God seems most like He doesn't care when He knows most what He cares." - cranberries_empty

Did you know that the value of the Dead Seas Scrolls and the Damascus Letters were virtualized only when the owners decided to auction them?

The Word of God was auctioned.

Jesus was auctioned.

"The Bedouin first took the scrolls to a dealer named Ibrahim 'Ijha in Bethlehem. 'Ijha returned them, saying they were worthless, after being warned that they might have been stolen from a synagogue. Undaunted, the Bedouin went to a nearby market, where a Syrian Christian offered to buy them. A sheikh joined their conversation and suggested they take the scrolls to Khalil Eskander Shahin, "Kando," a cobbler and part-time antiques dealer. The Bedouin and the dealers returned to the site, leaving one scroll with Kando and selling three others to a dealer for £7 GBP ($29 in 2003 US dollars)."

God really seems most like He doesn't care when He knows most what He cares.

Don't give up.

Don't spend one minute thinking that He doesn't care. He is willing to lower His word so that we can approach Him.

"The Older I Get" - Skillet

The walls between
You and I

Always pushing us apart nothing left but scars fight after fight

The space between
Our calm and rage
started growing shorter , disappearing slowly day after day

I was sitting there waiting in my room for you
You were waiting for me too
And it makes me wonder

The older I get
Will I get over it
It's been way too long for the times we missed

I didn't know then it would hurt like this but I think
The older I get
Maybe I'll get over it
It's been way too long for the times we missed
I can't believe it still hurts like this

The time between
Those cutting words
Built up our defenses never made no sense it just made me hurt
Do you believe
That time heals all wounds
It started getting better but it's easy not to fight when I'm not with you

What was I waiting for
I should've taken less and given you more
I should've weathered the storm
I need to say so bad
What were you waiting for
This could have been the best we ever had

[Altro:]
I'm just getting older
I'm not getting over you I'm trying to
I wish it didn't hurt like this
It's been way too long for the times we missed
I can't believe it still hurts like this

God's like "I don't care"

2011-05-13T12:09:00.000-07:00

We need more people like them.. In the end, it is all about second chances..

The Last Night is the fourth single of the Christian Rock Band Skillet's seventh full-length album. The song has become a fan favorite for its strong anti-suicide themes and went on to peak at #38 on the Mainstream Rock charts and #16 the Billboard Hot Christian Songs chart. R&R magazine counted it as the #1 most played song on Christian CHR Radio stations in 2007.

John Cooper has said that "I just started thinking about how these kids are hurting so badly and that maybe I could sing a song that they can relate to." Korey has stated that one of the most shocking things to the band as they were touring was the number of fans who admitted to them that they were cutters or suffered from depression and so they wrote the song to tell people that they were not alone in their struggles.

"Rebirthing" is a song by the Christian rock band Skillet, and it is the first single off their seventh album Comatose. The song has achieved a large amount of popularity in both the mainstream and Christian radio. The song was #1 on ChristianRock.Net's Weekly Top 30 for sixteen straight weeks, #3 on their Annual Top 100, and was the most requested song of the year in 2006. The song also charted at #9 on the Billboard Hot Christian Songs chart.

John Cooper explained the meaning of the song to theskilletsizzle.com; "in the end, it's just a song about second chances and I think we're living in a time now where a lot of people don't think that they deserve a second chance. You know, whether that's a second chance at life, or at a relationship, or when they think they've screwed something up too bad. And in this song it's basically saying it's never too late to start all over again, it's a message of hope and a lot of people aren't feeling very hopeful these days in our world."

John Cooper has stated on numerous occasions that he was born and raised in a very religious family and atmosphere. "You couldn't wear black, you couldn't listen to anything with drums, anything with guitars, you couldn't have long hair, you couldn't do this and you couldn't do that. Everything was so lifeless. I know I'd read the Bible and be like...'This isn't what the Bible says. I like the idea of living for Jesus, but I hate the idea of living for you.' Ya know?" (Creation Festival 2010, YLO Interview)

During a 2010 Creation Festival YLO Interview, John revealed that "early on, we decided we would never have kids on the road. We were not going to do it. And then God spoke to us later, just showing that God can change our minds, right? So then God starts speaking to me about kids, and I was like "Really? But we made a decision NOT to do it." and God's like "I don't care." So...that's how that happened! It was a big shock, because we were really against that, but then again we didn't know that Skillet would be going this long. I didn't know that I'd be 35 and still doing this."

"What is number one in your life are your second chances in life." - cranberries_empty

"God seems most like He doesn't care when He knows most what He cares." - cranberries_empty

Integrity is always the easiest, the toughest, the shortest, the longest seed you can always demonstrate.

2011-05-03T10:45:00.000-07:00

It's all about humanity, humility, and integrity. - Debra Wilson

With humanity, you get observation.
You can never identify with what you never gone through.
Like a God who chooses a Man status.
Admit it or not. God wants to save humanity. He identifies and then reveals the God-Man status as the solution.
But without becoming Man, there is no one way or the other.

With humility, you get resourcefulness.
You can never stretch if you never see your own lack.
Jesus didn't go around telling others that He was going to go perform miracles everyday.
Admit it or not. He just pull in from the Word and acted.

With integrity, you get a future.
Trust can only be built on integrity.
People get desperate and wicked-hearted when integrity is lost.
Admit or not.

"Integrity is always the easiest, the toughest, the smallest, the largest seed you can always demonstrate." - cranberriesempty

---------------------------

The elections are seriously lacking in these fields if only they knew.
They rallied one another for lack of observing the real problem.
They rallied one another for lack of resourcefulness.
They rallied one another for lack of future.

When actually, they need to build humanity.
When actually, they need to build humility.
When actually, they need to build integrity.

---------------------------

"Walk" - Foo Fighters

A million miles away
Your signal in the distance
To whom it may concern
I think I lost my way
Getting good at starting over
Every time that I return

I'm learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I'm learning to talk again
Can't you see I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?

Do you remember the days
We built these paper mountains
And sat and watched them burn
I think I found my place
Can't you feel it growing stronger
Little conqueror

I'm learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I'm learning to talk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?

Now
For the very first time
Don't you pay no mind
Set me free again
You keep alive a moment at a time
But still inside a whisper to a liar
To sacrifice but knowing to survive
The first to find another state of mind
I'm on my knees, I'm waiting for a sign
Forever, whenever
I never wanna die
I never wanna die
I never wanna die
I'm on my knees
I never wanna die
I'm dancing on my grave
I'm Running through the fire
Forever, whatever
I Never wanna die
I Never wanna leave
I'll Never say goodbye
Forever, whatever
Forever, Whatever

I'm learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I'm learning to talk again
Can't you see I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?

I'm learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
I'm learning to talk again
Can't you see I've waited long enough

To God, proposition is a continuation. Unfailing is continuation.

2011-04-11T11:03:00.000-07:00

"The first casualty when war comes, is truth." - Aeschylus Greek tragic dramatist (525 BC - 456 BC)

(Order)(object/person) (environment - opposition's reason)(proposition)

The first autopsy when surgery (to discover) comes in, is knowledge.
The first entry when concordance (to record) comes in, is experience.
The first word when composition (to make believe) comes in, is creation.
The first lie when Eden (to be fruitful) comes in, is absurd-some.
The first miracle when Jesus (to die for the lost) comes in, is reconciliation.

The first commandment when God (to represent judgement) comes in, is love.
Yet, the last commandment when John (to represent continuation) comes in, is love.

To human, it is order that we discover the value of our proposition by the presence of our opposition.
"To God, proposition is a continuation. Unfailing is continuation." - cranberries_empty

World Class

2011-03-30T14:18:00.001-07:00

"work work work = world class"

The power of keeping on keeping on.

"I know I am not a hopeless case"

2011-03-28T12:41:00.000-07:00

Classic Story for Second Chance..

I am really inspired..
When someone believes in you..

Altiyan's dad took him out of his forklifter job to his real calling.

What happens when a person 'connects'..

This was done without any rehearsals.
There is a difference when you begin to 'connect', no amount of rehearsals can accomplish one "connection's work".

"I know I am not a hopeless case"
What do you believe in?
What do you connect to?

Somewhere

2011-03-27T23:03:00.000-07:00

Somehow.. This song is haunting me.

You Love Me Anyway

2011-03-27T17:15:00.000-07:00

I burst on the inside.
This song is mind-blowing.

FIlled with spiritual truths.

------------------

You Love Me Anyway - Sidewalk Prophets

The question was raised
As my conscience fell
A silly, little lie
It didn’t mean much
But it lingers still
In the corners of my mind

Still you call me to walk
On the edge of this world
To spread my dreams and fly
But the future’s so far
My heart is so frail
I think I’d rather stay inside

But You love me anyway
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me
How You love me

It took all of my strength
To simply be still
To seek but never find
All the reasons we change
The reasons I doubt
And why do loved ones have to die?

But You love me anyway
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me

I am the thorn in Your crown
But You love me anyway
I am the sweat from Your brow
But You love me anyway
I am the nail in Your wrist
But You love me anyway
I am Judas’ kiss
But You love me anyway
See now, I am the man that yelled out from the crowd
For Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking
ground
Yes then, I turned away with this smile on my face
With this sin in my heart tried to bury Your grace
And then alone in the night, I still called out for You
So ashamed of my life, my life, my life

But You love me anyway
Oh, God… how you love me

You love me anyway
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me
You love me, You love me
You love me, You love me
How You love me
How You love me
How You love me

It isn't Grace until you have a go with it.

2011-03-25T15:15:00.000-07:00

"That is why a paradigm shift is required before someone can be safely and securely rooted in the traditional Faith and Church. The Vatican organization lacks all the requirements for visibility. It is not One but many in belief, "faith" and practice, it is not Holy, it is not Catholic, and it is not Apostolic. After Vatican II, the visible Church hierarchy consisted of those faithful clergy, priests and bishops, who refused to go along with the new religion, but who kept the Catholic religion. Vatican II explicitly shattered the former identity that had long existed between the Vatican institution and the visible Roman Catholic Church, deprived the Vatican of its former status, its leader of universal jurisdiction, and its membership of the guidance and protection by and of the Holy Ghost. At the same time, it granted jurisdiction to any and all bishops out there, regardless of who consecrated, them, or whether they did it with or without consulting the Vatican leader, or whether they answer to him in any way.

TJ and his ilk worry about a "parallel Church" or an "invisible Church," but that is only smoke and confusion. In the bright light of day, it is abundantly obvious that the present Vatican institution itself is the "schismatic parallel Church" (not actually quite parallel but skewed so as to start where the Church was and gradually drift off into error). Thus it redefined itself back at Vatican II, and thus it has behaved like ever since. The real Catholic Church has simply marched straight ahead, somewhat fragmented from the lack of real universal leadership, and from the confusion and misdirection spread by the redefined Vatican organization, but still plainly visible in its bishops, priests, religious, and attached lay Faithful, once one knows where to look.

It is like the child Jesus, when He was "lost" by His mother and St. Joseph and they had spent three days looking for Him. Was He invisible? Joseph and Mary couldn't see Him. But the rabbis they found Him conversing with, and anyone who had taken Him in during the intervening nights, obviously could see Him. He seemed "invisible" to none less than the sinless Virgin and the saintly foster father, not because he had turned "invisible" like the Invisible Man but merely because even they did not know where to look for Him. So it is with the Church today. His Mystical Body is still visible, but many still do not know where to look for it. The rabbis could see Him, and perhaps among them was a very young Gamaliel, who would later go on to instruct that "If it is of men, then leave it alone and it will come to nothing, but if it is of God you cannot overthrow it and worse, you would be fighting against God."

We are careful in all of our evaluations not to add fault where there is only so much actual fault, nor to hide fault where fault indeed has occurred. Most of all we cultivate an all-important sense of proportion.

For "seeing God" is not about having some vision of an old man wearing sandals, sitting on a cloud, and manipulating a bucketfull of thunderbolts. Seeing God is all about seeing God at work in the world today, and in our own personal lives. It is about learning to see Jesus in the person of the poor, the sick, the prisoner, and all other victims of corrupt societies. When Joseph and Mary carried the baby Jesus to the Temple for the Presentation, all the heedless milling crowds saw of them was a young couple with a cute baby. But Anna and Simeon saw their salvation when they saw the Christ Child. That is because they were pure in heart and that is what seeing God is really all about.

When impurity clouds over one's mind, they cannot see where the Church really is, namely in those faithful priests and bishops all around the world who have suffered much to sustain the true Faith and Sacraments and Tradition, but only what certain others want them to see. They only see the false picture presented by the media and repeated again and again like Hitler's "big lie." They think of the Vatican institution as still being the Church, not because it possesses any qualities whatsoever that the Church must always possess, but merely because so many jounalists, prelates, and other prominent and famous people pretend to see it so. After all, "Everybody believes it."

-- Taken from 'There, but for the Grace of God, go I'
By Griff Ruby
(http://www.the-pope.com/there.html)

---------------------------------------

After reading the above script, I was heavily impacted.

Just 2 weeks of not being able to hear church, meet church, I am having some withdrawal syndromes.
But it is not about a particular church that I am missing.

It is the Church I am missing.

I believe my intense feelings towards the Grace I have received is accompanying this.

It is when you have felt a Touch.
And now that you don't feel it, you feel the missing lingering.

When I feel Nothing, I begin to feel Everything.

"I can do nothing on My own initiative. As I hear, I judge; and My judgment is just, because I do not seek My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me. - John 5:30

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
- Philippians 4:6

I am blessed that I am stuck in situation that I do not know where to find Him and not in a situation that I believing only my own initiative. I am glad that the Grace that I received is real and therefore, I am having withdrawal syndromes.

If you don't have withdrawal syndromes from Him, you haven't depend Him.
You cannot understand humility until you experience His Grace.

"It isn't Grace until you have a go with it." - cranberries_empty

Be strong

2011-03-24T17:15:00.001-07:00

2 weeks into SF..

"Melvin, these are impressive datas!"
"Wow, I am impressed. Melvin gotten some highly valuable data for us."
"You came at the right time with the right technology."

"You are the first singaporean I met and I am impressed."
"You managed to get the same accurate spot all the time."

"Everyone is excited to have you here!"

------

"Melvin, I was most touched when you started thanking all your ex-leaders."
"You remembered all that!? Wow, you really impacted everyone."
"I always sit up when you are about to speak. It is always good to hear you speak."

-------

I am surrounded by some of the smartest brains in the world.
Surprisingly, I miss home more than ever before.

I miss those who went war with me.
I miss those who went missions with me.
I miss those who were carrying chairs with me.
I miss those who were wishing stars with me.

My angel has been the sweetest.
It was really tough over here. She comforted me every morning by telling me her day.
I love hearing her and being close to her.
It has been rainstorming here everyday and I drove every morning alone in this weather.
And after work, I am all alone in the compound and all the shops are all closed.
Having my meals all alone everyday at some crummy eatery is not fun.

I get a lot of praises and assurance here.
Even I myself am surprised by His Grace towards me.

"It is impressive, Melvin."
"Oh my god. did it work? You mean, at first shot? Wow... that's blasting."
"I saw all the results. They are fantastic! I am so happy that you manage those results."
"I am so relieved! You know, this split second decision makes a huge difference. As i said in my letter to MinDef, you are the best one we can have over there."

These are the exact emails and msgs from my boss.
I am thankful that God has been sustaining me over here.

The Joy of Lord shall be my strength.
I share this revelation with LV.
I may be alone.
But His Presence outshines the loneliness I have here.

It's time to smile in the rain again.
Be strong.

a heart, an open one.

2011-03-15T11:16:00.000-07:00

a heart, an open one.

Mar. 15th, 2011 at 9:37 PM

This post is dedicated to a friend, a mentor and a leader. Despite being under your leadership for barely under a year, I must say, you have impacted me in ways I myself do not understand. Perhaps in the beginning, I did not see things from your perspective, I did not understand the value of being in your fellowship. However I know that now. Or rather, have known for the recent part of the last few months. It is really interesting I must say, because in the beginning, I was skeptical, I was hesitant. This is something that cannot be avoided, something that comes with change. Transition periods are never easy. Some people transit through them fast, other longer. I must say I joined the latter.

However, your quirky and fun-loving nature won me over ( i don't mean this in a bad way, on the contrary it is something good!). I look forward to hearing you preach on friday nights, I enjoy sitting together with you during fellowship. Times and places whereby I stumble upon insightful wisdom, wisdom from you.

2 years is not a short period of time, albeit one that will pass quickly enough in due season. We will all miss your presence, I will miss your presence during our fridays and saturdays. Hearing one of your many stories always brings a smile to our faces, a thought embedded in our minds. I am already looking forward to your return from San Francisco in two months' time, and I'm sure I'm not alone in that sentiment.

Melvin, you have made a difference in my life, and in the lives of many others. You have brought laughter, you have brought tears. Your sacrifices are one to be admired, one that not many are willing to give up. They say that the only constant in life is change. I say that you have constantly brought change into my life.

Thank you.

http://shaunisaac.livejournal.com/38554.html

Maybe, Moses

2011-03-02T01:46:00.001-08:00

"I saw how your people want to follow you and serve you. It touched my heart and he really looks up to you.
How he will want to serve and give to you. Like how Joshua will serve Moses.
This is rare in our modern day era." - YL

"Yesterday when you were sharing about your job, I was thinking that you came a long way.
How God has seen you thru your seasons of life. How you have grown and changed over the years." - YL

"Melvin, it is because of your sermons. I am still here." - Y

"It was mind-blowing! It was the bomb!" - R

------------------------

Maybe, Moses.

Maybe, it was.

Thank you, I believe it was.

You will know it

2010-12-12T21:03:00.000-08:00

4 year-old Jeremiah Liauw "Jerry" was born with spina bifida, a spinal defect which causes his lower body to be especially weak.

The Club Rainbow member's goal was to crawl his way to the finish line for the 750m Kids Dash event.

A really tough 750m on his hands and knees.

"…Jerry wanted to crawl and refused to be carried when everyone was telling me to carry him coz for those of you who knows and are there, the weather was super duper hot and the ground was really radiating IMMENSE HEAT as it was approaching noon but Jerry kept diving for the ground.

If he could have it his way, he would not allow me to carry him at anytime at all. And a last note to share which may sound unbelieving to unbelievers, as I was changing Jerry yesterday, Jerry said, yes Jerry said, these are his exact words which took me aback too…

Jerry: "Actually when i saw the many people, I didn't want to crawl but God told me to crawl."

Me: "God told u to crawl?"

Jerry: "Yes. God told me to crawl."

Me: "Huh? What do you mean God told you to crawl?"

Jerry: "Yes, in my heart, I heard God's voice telling me to crawl."

Me: "Huh? you mean you heard God's voice?"

Jerry: "Yes. I heard God telling me to crawl."

Me: "Huh? What do you mean? How did you know it's God's voice?"

Jerry: "You will know it when He talks to you."

The Just Shall Live By Faith

2010-12-07T01:46:00.000-08:00

"The Just Shall Live by Faith
I recently attended a make up cell group which was Melvin's cell group

I must say it was a powerful cell group meeting, as it happened to be the multiplication cell group as well.

The praise and worship was really awesome. The guitarist and worship leaders really brought down the presence of God to the place. It was sincere, pure and true. It was as if we were singing amidst the angels of God.

Melvin then when on to talk about a verse in Habbakkul 2:4, in that "The just shall live by faith"

What he meant and explained further, was that no matter what circumstances you may be going through, you need to hold on to that faith you have. What is that faith you have, it is the faith to be a blessing to people. The faith to believe in your visions and dreams and never let go of it.

When Melvin was sharing about the past, I cant help but be amazed at how far this anointed cell group leader has come. He was suppose to be on MC but he spoke with such confidence and anointing, it was as if he was a zone pastor.

Then he went on to talk about how it was in the past as a new Christian, how he was disappointed as a young Christian by the circumstances around him, but he just had that hunger in him. The hunger of God. His main purpose of going to Church was to know Christ more and more. Despite not having a proper cell group, he was still very enthusiastic about God.

What amazed me was these 3 things

1) Patience, he had the patience to believe 'all things work together for the good of those who believe' he was willing to wait. He actually waited about 3 hours just to get Bible study for his baptism class. To many people, they would have left already, but he had this desire in him to want to be baptism, to want to experience the Holy spirit, that he waited, and it was really worth the wait. This all happened because he held on to faith that he was going to be salt and light , especially in the area of cell groups ministry. Turns out this past he experienced, is what helped shape his character and is one of the stories he can use to inspire people about patience and faith in the Lord.

2) Hunger. When he explained on how he took a cab, and he literally RAN after dropping off from the cab, shows how much he yearns and hungers for God. Right from when he was a young Christian. I believe most of us want this hunger, and the good thing is we can. Jacob didn't want to let go of God until God blessed him. Melvin didn't want to miss to opportunity to experience the Holy Spirit, so he ran. Are you running to God today?

3) Vision. Even after setbacks and dissappointments, Melvin kept hold of his vision. He kept working for it and he trusted in the Lord. Yes you need to instill confidence in man but he had absolute confidence in the Lord to carry him true. 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart and all your soul, and He will make your paths straight' His story is truly an epitomy of that

4). Hospitality. Despite me being a new member in a make up cell, he took the effort to actually introduce me, and called me by name. He was also very friendly and approachable when I approached him for a discussion. I believe this is how we should treat all our friends and even enemies. The Bible says that 'a man that hath friends must first be friendly'

Lastly, I would like to say that everything starts small. You need to start somewhere, in Luke 16:10 it says ' if you are faithful in little things,you will be faithful in the large ones' in Zechariah 4:10 it says ' Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin, to see the plumb line in Zerubbabel's hand.

Overall, Melvin's story truly inspired me to believe and have faith in my vision. My vision is to see a great evangelistic movement in Vietnam, and then spreading from Vietnam to mainland Southeast Asia.

I want to start small, but I want to keep running, I want to keep believing, I want to keep having the hunger. This is a problem I face now, I always get enthusiastic about something, but after about a week, my hunger dies, I start procrastinating, and my believe gets smaller. THIS IS ENOUGH! I want constant hunger and faith! And I am believing God for this change in my life~!

Melvin said that Luke was the only gospel that talked about the Birth of Christ, because that was the moment when God sent His son to CHANGE THE WORLD.

Jesus started small as a baby, and as a young child He already said ' I must be about doing my Father's business' He was already clear of His vision and purpose in life from the start, He knew his purpose. He kept praying, and keep reading the word. That's why when He was tempted in the wilderness, He could overcome by the WORD. Even up to his death, He said, 'not my will, but yours be done' He was persistent , He believed, He had faith. And because of Him, our sins are forgiven, and we are saved by grace through FAITH because of the victory that Jesus has already given us when He died on the cross.

Melvin prayed that I would be the connection. The connection for my cell group, and the connection that brings people to God. I will keep praying constantly for this vision, and I do hope you can pray for me too.

Lastly I would like to say looking at Melvin now, and imagining him in the past, how far he has come to leading many many cell groups, I want to be like that too and reach my ultimate destiny of being a blessing to Vietnam and Southeast Asia. I want to believe, accept change and be a great blessing to people.

I want to say a big thank you to Melvin for that wonderful and inspirational message. Its not just about him presenting a message, but I can see it in his life as well that he's not just talking about it, but his life is a living example of it! of the FAITH of GOD to accept CHANGE and to hold on to your VISIONS!

God Bless!

Daniel with a Destiny
Faith in my Destiny "

Success that is both humanly astounding and humanely inspiring.

2010-11-10T18:58:00.000-08:00

The Reverend Al Sharpton received a standing ovation with cheers when he told Jackson's children, "Wasn't nothing strange about your daddy. It was strange what your daddy had to deal with. But he dealt with it anyway."

"nobody bought anybody's silence"

___________________

Jackson's death triggered a global outpouring of grief.

The news spread quickly online, causing websites to slow down and crash from user overload. Both TMZ and the Los Angeles Times suffered outages. Google initially believed that the input from millions of people searching for "Michael Jackson" meant that the search engine was under attack. Twitter reported a crash, as did Wikipedia at 3:15 p.m. PDT (6:15 p.m. EDT).

He died June 25th, 2009. He was pronounced dead at 2:26 local time (21:26 UTC).

The Wikimedia Foundation reported nearly a million visitors to Jackson's biography within one hour, probably the most visitors in a one-hour period to any article in Wikipedia's history. AOL Instant Messenger collapsed for 40 minutes. AOL called it a "seminal moment in Internet history", adding, "We've never seen anything like it in terms of scope or depth."

Around 15% of Twitter posts—or 5,000 tweets per minute—reportedly mentioned Jackson after the news broke, compared to the 5% recalled as having mentioned the Iranian elections or the flu pandemic that had made headlines earlier in the year. Overall, web traffic ranged from 11% to at least 20% higher than normal. MTV and Black Entertainment Television (BET) aired marathons of Jackson's music videos. Jackson specials aired on multiple television stations around the world. The British soap opera EastEnders added a last-minute scene, in which one character tells another about the news, to the June 26 episode. Jackson was the topic of every front-page headline in the daily British tabloid The Sun for about two weeks following his death. During the same period, the three major U.S. networks' evening newscasts—ABC's World News, CBS Evening News, and NBC Nightly News—devoted 34% of their broadcast time to him.

Jackson's memorial was held on July 7, 2009, at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, preceded by a private family service at Forest Lawn Memorial Park's Hall of Liberty. Jackson's casket was present during the memorial but no information was released about the final disposition of the body. While some unofficial reports claimed a worldwide audience as high as one billion people, the U.S. audience was estimated by Nielsen to be 31.1 million, an amount comparable to the estimated 35.1 million that watched the 2004 burial of former president Ronald Reagan, and the estimated 33.1 million Americans who watched the 1997 funeral for Princess Diana.

____________________________

From 1985 to 1990, he donated $500,000 to the United Negro College Fund, and all of the profits from his single "Man in the Mirror" went to charity. He supported more than 39 charities, winning a Guinness Book of Records.

"Man in the mirror" is about your doppelganger living the wildest fantasy of your life.

____________________________

Michael Jackson's Thriller is the best selling album of all time; though sales figures for the album vary, the album is cited as selling as many as 110 million copies worldwide. (2010)

It won in the category of 50 mil sales. A 1982 album competing the likes of 1972 to 1992. It wasn't a soundtrack. It wasn't a compilation. Only an album.

____________________________

Success that is both humanly astounding and humanely inspiring.

Something close to my heart

2010-10-26T00:02:00.000-07:00

"Yesterday"

Somehow I am mysteriously sucked into this song.
Maybe because he is singing something close to my heart.

:)

2010-10-25T01:48:00.001-07:00

Dear Melvin,

I know I have said countless thank yous to you since you have became
my leader and friend. But the thing is, you have said before, that -
the great is in what is unfailing. And, you have never failed... To not fail
to deliver God's motives to us through God. What was real during the
meeting was that, a living example whom I personally know was doing
exactly what he was sharing. This really captivated my thoughts.

Even writing this email, I could feel His presence and I know that I
have reconnected my bridge and slowly rebuilding what was lost in Him
once again. I was doing so many things, and yet failed to do the most
important thing since this year begun.

I really do not want to walk away from Sunday feeling it was a meeting
filled with emotions and fire and zest, because it will all die down
someday. But I will walk away this time, filled with sustain and with
faithfulness.

This will probably be my I-don't-know-how-many-times-of 'thank you',
but Thank you, Melvin.

Because you sacrificed.

Impartation

2010-10-25T01:48:00.000-07:00

"Mel. I want to remember what happened in the discipleship today. Thank you for teaching the Word. I try to recall what happened, I think God's grace hit me in the discipleship. Thank you so much."

"Melvin. Wanted to say that the discipleship today on impartation was really awesome! I could feel something different when you shared the whole message. Is like we are going on a whole new level on our perspectives! =) Thank you for preparing this word and bring forth an impartation to us. There was a conveyance happening! I'm spiritually filled. Thank you Melvin!"

"Wow! What happened!"

Thank you

2010-10-18T20:02:00.000-07:00

"Your worship.. Good. I can totally feel the presence. It is actually very good." - YL
"You are good." - Pst Meng
"You are already pro level." - WE

"Thank you, Melvin. I could even hear it all the way upstairs. It is very good."
__________________________

"hey Melvin, I have been reading your cell's blog. Awesome la."

"You know, Melvin. There have been people reading this blog of yours. They teared! Because they immediately could identify what you were writing about!"

Closer to

2010-10-13T02:28:00.001-07:00

Forgive.

And if you can represent this status quo in your heart, soul and spirit.. You are proven unfailing.

2010-10-10T20:54:00.001-07:00

An important truth: "Something is called great is in it being unfailing." - cranberriesempty

What's greater.. It's unfailing.

What a powerful truth. When I heard it from a Children's CD, I thought to myself, "This is even better than the adult CDs I have heard..."

Not because the adult CDs are not good.
But because the Children's CD has faith.

Too many intelligent words recently, but lacking something.
I like what Pst MJ told me, "It is not the technicalities. It is the raw faith."
Pst YL reminded me," It is always the Spirit behind the Word."

"The Greatness of all is the Servant to all."

The Servant is at the point of all social failing.
Simply because its status quo is at lowest returns.
But this status quo is where you are most revealed.
The returns for this position is passed on to God.
And if you can represent this status quo in your heart, soul and spirit.. You are proven unfailing.

What you reveal to God is returns to God.

There is a transcendence of what you can be when you are not.
You are not needed to be a servant.
But when you choose to be one.
That is the transcendence of what you can be when you are not.

Jesus said, "be". He did not say, "you are".
Because He knew that if He could get to you, you would get to where He will be.

Because only He can extract life.

2010-10-06T23:21:00.000-07:00

Finding loose change does not equate to issues. It equates to the extraction of value from life itself. It is representative of what life can be for one person. I would join anyone in the endeavor of “extracting life”.

The issue of forgiveness can never be an issue of letting go 10-cent.
No sane (or insane, for that matter) person would value unforgiveness.
The issue of forgiveness is always associated with anger and madness because it deals with robbing your eyes and mind.
It takes away things.
It is the loss of a good thing that causes the madness.

I read recently about an issue about an elderly person stooping down to pick up a ten-cents coin.
Was she being irrational?
Is 10-cents is of no value to any strata of society?
Someone who will not pick up 10-cents simply because it was not “worth it”.

The bystander is someone who detests the prodigal son.
The bystander is someone who will scoff at the sight of 2-mites.
The bystander is someone who will immediately cast the first stone.
The bystander is someone who doubts the possibilities of Zaccheus.
The bystander issues summons readily because he does not seek to extract life.

There was already no life in these things.
God designed HIMSELF to extract the best life He can find.
He came in Man-form (be it Jesus or not) so many times.

God is someone who runs towards the prodigal son.
God is someone who actually waits for the 2-mites to be transferred into His account.
God is someone who repels the first stone without violence.
God is someone who extracts the possibilities out of Zaccheus.

The older lady stooped down lowly to search for that one 10-cent.
Only simply, because she knows that only she can extract the value out of that 10-cent.

The bystander misses the whole point because he is eager to do every other thing, rather than what God is doing.

God seeks to extract life, to redeem life, to produce life.
One who does not do likewise, is like someone who laughs off at the Savior slogging to the Cross.

Because only He can extract life.

Different perspective

2010-10-04T20:16:00.000-07:00

"I just read your email.
You have a different perspective from everyone.
It is one notch higher.
I like reading yours.
I learn something from you." - YL

"I am going. Let's go."

In spite of those who hate me.

2010-09-27T20:18:00.000-07:00

Another great encouragement.
In spite of those who hate me.

CEO and I had a heated discussion.
In closing, he admitted, "Melvin, you have a brain that thinks above most people."

YL: "That is true. It is your gift."

Because this revelation can change ANYONE.

2010-09-27T19:15:00.000-07:00

I had a pleasant surprise.. :)

"If anything that distracts you is called an idol,
Then it is imagery that robs your connection with God." - cranberries_empty

"One of the greatest revival stories always centers on imagery.
Peter had that imagery revival.
He keeps seeing 'Jesus in action'.
Now he sees 'Jesus coming back for him'.
That changed him.
Because this revelation can change ANYONE.

The greatest revival is on 'Jesus coming back for you'.
That is the entire centerfold for the end-times.
A tough time.
But 'Coming Back'." - cranberries_empty (23/09/2010)

The greatest interest for Jesus over any time is 'Coming Back'.

And on the 24/09/2010, the title of Pst Zhuang's sermon for the WYZ Adult District Meeting was "Coming Back".

YL immediately messaged me when she heard that pastor was going to share on that.
"You will be surprised what pastor will be sharing later."

As I sat in front, I was blown.
It was the same revelation.
Just a few hours apart (not even 24 hours).

I am grateful that this has happened again.

For a friend..

2010-09-20T20:07:00.001-07:00

Saw this lyric on One Republic's Marching on:
We'll have the day...s we break
And we'll have the scars to prove it
We'll have the bombs that we saved
And we'll have the heart
Not to lose it

I thought of you, bro. Don't lose the heart. :) The heart of the matter is the matter of the heart. A strength of the matter is the matter of a strong heart. :)

There is no criteria for Grace. Only Grace for all criteria.

2010-09-20T19:49:00.000-07:00

I watched this show, "Murderball".

It is pretty much like a handball game in a wheelchair.

But a very inspirational documentary about people who "suddenly" fell sick when they were younger and they grew up less an arm or a leg.

One of my fav quotes was from the canadian coach:
"I believe God doesn't believe in competition.
I believe God believes in helping people."

It was so true.

The Canadians lost the first seat to the Americans.
Then they went back to grueling training and strategies for months.
...
When they came back to fight, they finally won the Americans.
But the Canadians were still only Silver Medlists.
...
Because the New Zealanders had risen from position 6 to number 1.

This is what it is all about.
God doesn't believe in competition.
There is no criteria for Grace.
Only Grace for all criteria.

For those days we felt like a mistake,
Those times when love's what you hate
Somehow
We keep marchin on

For those nights that I couldn't be there,
I've made it harder to know that you know
That somehow
We'll keep movin on

There's so many wars we fought
There's so many things we're not
But with what we have
I promise you that
We're marchin on
We're marchin on

For all of the plans we've made
There isn't a flag I'd wave
Don't care where we've been
I'd sink us to swim
We're marchin on
We're marchin on

For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know
We're not what we've seen

Oh
For this dance we move with each other
There ain't no other step
Than one foot
Right in front of the other
Oh

There's so many wars we fought
There's so many things we're not
But with what we have
I promise you that
We're marchin on
We're marchin on

For all of the plans we've made
There isn't a flag I'd wave
Don't care where we've been
I'd sink us to swim
We're marchin on
We're marchin on

Right Right Right Right Left
Right Right Right Right Left
Right Right Right Marchin On

We'll have the days we break
And we'll have the scars to prove it
We'll have the bombs that we saved
And we'll have the heart
Not to lose it

For all of the times we fought
For all of the things I'm not

Oh!
You put one foot in front of the other
We move like we ain't got no other
We go where we go we're marchin on
Marchin on

There's so many wars we fought
There's so many things we're not
But with what we have
I promise you that
We're marchin on
We're marchin on
Right Right Right Right Left
Right Right Right Right Left
Marchin On
Marchin on

Cowards can never be moral.

2010-09-14T02:05:00.000-07:00

Talked to a friend last night.
I was feeling really really depressed.

Cowards can never be moral.
Author: Mahatma Gandhi

I really don't like it when people misrepresent.
They say things like as if they weren't responsible for the situation.

Actually they just revealed themselves as cowardly acts.

You cannot let your values be taught by the tainted.
You cannot listen to those who have never proven themselves.

It is like asking for work from a beggar.
The very thing they are avoiding is definitely not the best topic from them.

Having a soul does not equal to having a spirit.

This just tells me one thing.
Cowards do not count in battle; they are there, but not in it.
Author: Euripides

Don't lambaste.

2010-09-07T23:01:00.001-07:00

Been reading more and more entries made by other people.

I realized that too many people try to be 'A R Bernards'.
Simply, it is an compromising attitude of trying to be word-smart and not character-building.

One guy talked about the roles of 2 different groups of people.
No, none is reserved. I totally disagreed with the entry.
The process of judgement is the same for both.

You cannot say that an apple and a banana cannot be put into the same fruit basket just because of different vitamins.
Do not misrepresent roles and gifts.
The role remains role, but bringing different gifts.

A role is never a gift.
And a gift can never be a role without commitment.

One's role has to uphold responsibility.
The other'e role has to instill responsibility.

"To pastor is to be responsible for possibilities.
To thinketh is to be plausible to responsibilities." - cranberriesempty

Just because you cannot take intonations of poorer speakers, you begin to judge on intonations.
Intonations are like colors.
The values they carry are the vitamins.
Don't brainbash for something you don't know.
Don't misrepresent what God has pointed.
_________________________________________________________________

Homer A. Kent writes, “Pastors and teachers are named as one grammatical unit (by use of just one article in the Gk text)” (Ephesians: The Glory of the Church, Chicago: Moody, 1971, p. 72). Pastors (i.e., shepherds), as they care for the flock, are also teachers.

In Acts 20:28, Paul again refers to pastors. Here, however, he uses the verb form of the word, which is translated “to feed” (ASV) or “to care for” (ESV). Pastors feed, tend, and protect the church. They are to do all the things that a shepherd would do for a flock. Note in this verse that the church is called “the flock.”

Similarly, in 1 Peter 5:2, Peter encourages these servants by saying, “Tend the flock of God . . .” The word “tend” is again the verb poimaino, which W. E. Vine defines as, “to act as a shepherd” (Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words, McLean: MacDonald, n.d., p. 427).

To tend is to be responsible for further possibilities.
__________________________________________________________________

Philippians 4:8:

"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.

The thinker's role is simply this verse.
It is not to explore blamelessly.

To dwell is to be plausible for responsibilities.

__________________________________________________________________

Don't lambaste.
It really reflects your stupidity.

Received and Taught

2010-09-04T23:04:00.000-07:00

Taught
"Never disrupt the boundaries of which it was created. If you do, you have effectively removed any chance of understanding."

Taught
"Capacity is designed for the knowledge of doing now and the knowledge of what is about to come to you. Without either, that is not capacity."

Taught
"Sit with those you have to lead. Being their replacement puts you in the best position of sacrifice."

Received
"Crumbs for miracles." - Matt 15:27

Received
"There can be only one Pearl of life." - Matt 13:45-46

Received
"There are many miracles for everything. Only the miracles written are for your benefit of knowing Him better." - John 20:31

And finding treasures in the the mud of your life.

2010-08-26T20:23:00.000-07:00

"I would rather walk with God in the dark than go alone in the light" (M. G. Brainard). Had a tough day yesterday but... Jesus reigns!" - Pst Kong

When P. YL asked me to read it in the middle of the night, I finally could understand what it means to be happy.

Happiness is truly discovered when you are most tired.
Not when you are surrounded by good stuff.

You are happy when it comes from within.
Not when it is introduced to the eye.

Loyalty and Integrity cannot be introduced.
It couples to who you are.
And you are happy.

To be happy is not exhilaration.
I remember so many people asking me to keep on a high to be happy.

It isn't.
Even Pastor is living it out.
To be happy is to have gratitude oozing out of your heart.
To able to walk side by side with your integrity.

You realize you will win because the Greater has won.
Not because you won and the Greater is acknowledged.

You will find that happy place when you are most tired
And finding treasures in the the mud of your life.

Integrity is a question reserved for the strong only

2010-08-25T20:45:00.000-07:00

In my opinion, these guys are really good.

"So be careful what you say,
what goes up is gonna come down." - Hedley

Integrity is a question reserved for the strong only. - cranberriesempty

"Let"

2010-08-25T18:51:00.001-07:00

- Pst Phil Pringle

Speaking Into People

2010-08-22T20:13:00.000-07:00

Speaking into People

There are 3 parties when you are speaking to people.
Holy Spirit (God) – The Informant and Wisdom
People – The Residing Atmosphere or Target
The Speaker – The Channel

I had this thought that came to my mind:
“It is the end that will be greater than the beginning.” (Job 8:7 and Job 42:12)

But the end of the matter to God: are New Beginnings.

I am the Alpha and the Omega, says the Lord God, who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty. (Rev 1:8)

Now write what you see, what is and what is to take place hereafter. (Revelation 1:19 )

Here, Revelations is likened to a man talking to another man. There is an invading process and a filling process. C.S. Lewis has written these significant words:

“God is going to invade this earth in force. But what's the good of saying you're on his side then, when you see the whole natural universe melting away like a dream and something else, something it never entered your head to conceive comes crashing in. Something so beautiful to us and so terrible to others that none of us will have any choice left. This time it will be God without disguise; something so overwhelming that it will strike either irresistible love, or irresistible horror into every creature. It will be too late then to choose your side. There is no use saying you choose to lie down, when it's become impossible to stand up. That will not be the time for choosing; it will be the time when we discover which side we really have chosen, whether we realize it or not. Now, today, in this moment, is our chance to choose the right side. God is holding back to give us that chance. It will not last forever; we must take it or leave it.”

The entire book of Revelation is targeted to inputting a new establishment: the new Earth. But begins itself by inputting a new Wisdom to the readers: You and Me.

People

Since it is a matter of wisdom, there is a storm in the Wisdom realm of the person receiving.

There was a constant struggle upon the Children of Israel that we can all agree: rebellion. And many have agreed that God’s Presence and Acknowledgment were the most important ingredients for their salvations. And God’s way to help them: was to input the exchange for His Wisdom.

Exodus 28:3 And you (Moses) shalt speak unto all that are wise hearted, whom I have filled with the spirit of wisdom, that they may make Aaron's garments to consecrate him, that he may minister unto me in the priest's office. – with wisdom, come the preparation for anointment

Exo 31:6 And I, behold, I have given with him Aholiab, the son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan: and in the hearts of all that are wise hearted I have put wisdom, that they may make all that I have commanded thee; - with wisdom, come the work for the Temple

Exodus 35:30 And Moses said unto the children of Israel, See, the LORD hath called by name Bezaleel the son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah; And he hath filled him with the spirit of God, in wisdom, in understanding, and in knowledge, and in all manner of workmanship; - with wisdom, come Work

“Unite the thoughts in his mind
Fear fragments the congruent of God's Wisdom.”

The truth is that God’s Truth is undeniable. Solid Truth is like plates of armor that are reinforced and impregnable. The enemy goes for the joints that are in-between the armor. They are the regions most flexible and thinly armoured.

A comment from a blog:

They disobeyed the Lord by violating Genesis 2:16-17.
In Genesis 3:17, Adam disobeyed God by obeying and subordinating himself to his wife, a violated of Gods' order. A few people believe that he violated Genesis 2:15 by not guarding the garden.

Genesis 3:16 demonstrates Gods disapproval of Eve's insubordination to her husband. She attempted to supplant both God and her husband in 3:1-6. She sinned by offering the fruit to her husband. Some people believe that she sinned by speaking to the serpent.

The fruit represents doing something that was contrary to Gods will, or sin.
Gen 3:1, 4-5 Satan lies and questions Gods character. 3:3 Eve adds "touch".
---Glenn on 5/12/09

What a erronous thought to have that the fruit was an conceiving aspect. It has no conceiving power. It represents a set. Not an option.

V1 Now the snake was the most clever among all the wild animals that the *Lord God had made. The snake said this to the woman: ‘Did God say that you can eat the fruit from all the trees in the garden?’ – generic to establish generalization; effectively limiting the effect of one tree

v2 This is how the woman answered the snake. ‘We can eat the fruit from the trees in the garden.

v3 But God said, “You must not eat the fruit from a certain tree. That tree is in the middle of the garden. Do not even touch it, otherwise you will die.” ’

v4 But the snake replied to the woman, ‘You will not die. – linking to a sense of eternity which has always been the nature with God. Something eternal and undying.

v5 But when you eat the fruit, your eyes will open. God knows that. You will be like God and you will know right things and wrong things.’ – God had always wanted us to be like Him. We were created in His image. A very clever linking to a Truth by adding a false positive.

Be careful of allowing "false positives". They will be the false revelations and cements that forge your armor. They will leech when the real weathers of life come.

My prayer: “Unite the thoughts in his mind
Fear fragments the congruent of God's Wisdom.”

The devil attacks the congruent of God’s Wisdom. When you hear people, hear the congruent of their words.

The Speaker

The Channel allows the straw of events that will exchange God’s Wisdom into the situation.

I did think for a very long time the relation between Elijah and Elisha. Bear in mind, one thing: it was starkly different and yet starkly similar. Of course, everyone knows about the similar miracles they did: Rain, Food, Miraculous Pot of Oil, Resurrection, Vision Restored, Power in Death.

The moment one asks the question: “Were these men similar?” one immediately receives an emphatic: “No”. Smith in his Bible dictionary states: “In almost every respect, Elisha presents the most complete contrast to Elijah.” Elijah was a grand and romantic and emotional. He does of course fit the image of a prophet; with long flowing hair and a girdle of skin around his loins and the ability to out-run a chariot. He was also a loner; in almost all of the narratives concerning the prophet he is dealing with one or two people; on the two occasions he deals with a bigger group it is to slay them.

We find that Elijah did not just suffer from isolation but he seems to have courted it. When running from Jezebel he chose to leave his servant behind. When his time to depart came we find him attempting to leave behind the faithful Elisha. Even when Elijah wanted to communicate we typically find him appearing, delivering a message and then immediately removing himself.

Elijah’s name: Jehovah is God.
Elisha’s name: Savior

There is one occasion when I think we see genuine warmth coming from Elijah and that is in the instance of the healing of the widow’s son. We can almost feel him pleading with God and asking why this disaster had been brought upon the woman that he was lodging with. However if you view his actions from the point of the widow he is still far from comforting. There are no words of condolence or even encouragement: simply the command to hand over the child. The prophet then disappears to return later with the boy healed.

We are given far fewer insights into Elisha’s direct interaction with God. Instead we are regaled with account after account of his dealings with people. He appears to have lived in Jericho with the son’s of the prophets. A good number of his miracles occur in the day to day running of their lives. He makes friends with a woman of affluence and is an accepted part of at least three royal courts on different occasions. The sight of Elisha dressed as a normal Israelite walking with his staff down the high-road was almost certainly common-place where he lived. The result was double the anointing. An ordinary ordinary; an extraordinary on the inside.

In Romans 11:2 we see Elijah as a picture of a faithful remnant. However I believe it is James 5:17 we get the most telling reference to Elijah almost because it is so tangential. When James is looking for an example of someone to point to and say: “Look, even he had desires the same as us…” it was Elijah that immediately came to mind. The man that would lead a life of austerity, sacrifice and confrontation in order to state the Jehovah was God.

Eilsha's bare-minimun was the multiply but to multiply God's Will.

The Channel, like you and me, is to multiply God’s Will into a situation. Elijah, to the end, was a faithful remnant. Continuation and transfer was a constant sight in Elijah and Elisha’s lives. To release something and to take away with something. That is the process of Wisdom as you speak.

God in this picture

Zep 3: 17 The Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior [Who saves]! He will rejoice over you with joy; He will rest [in silent satisfaction] and in His love He will be silent and make no mention [of past sins, or even recall them]; He will exult over you with singing.

“What a picture of the scene we see in Zephaniah 3. The city of
Jerusalem was under siege, being punished for her many sins (vv. 1-7). The
LORD Himself was the assailing force, pouring out His wrath, striking the city in His fierce anger. The devastation seemed enough to consume the entire world in an awesome conflagration (v. 8).

And then, in the rest of the chapter, we make an amazing discovery. As that dreadful night of judgment comes to an end, and day dawns, we realize there are survivors! We see God's scattered people, purified, return to worship their God (vv. 9-10). We realize that the arrogance that characterized Jerusalem had been burned away, and the city
now held only the meek and humble, who would do no wrong (vv.
11-13).

And we hear a voice raised in song, tentative at first, but soon swelling in a glad chorus of joy as the people of the city realize that
God, mighty to save, is with them, and will quiet them with His love (vv. 14-18).”

‎When we worship, we sing over God. But God starts to reverse this role, when He starts observing that inner thing you carry becomes treasure to Him.

When you are speaking over someone, you need to discern and reveal what is the sacrifice that that person must undertake. Yes, there is a need to help “solve” the problem for that person. But many a times, I discovered that we “overly solve” when it is supposed to be “discern” the “true sacrifice” in a person’s situation.

“If Jesus’ Death was considered as history's all-time low, how can you call yourself to be truly in depression without being in a sacrifice?” – cranberriesempty

Depression and sacrifice is greatly coupled in the bible. Every great man went through depression because it was masking an inner secret: Sacrifice! Your greatest ability is to discern what is the true sacrifice for that person’s life!

A person who has relationship problems: Sometimes maybe it is wrong timing!
A person who has communication issues: Sometimes renewal of the mind!
A person who has behavioural issues: Sometimes there are secret sins and inner lifestyles!

In essence, sacrifice is always the first step to establish the New Beginning! It wipes away everything to re-establish a new thing! Do not be afraid to restore what is right! Not just emotionally hop on the bandwagon. Teach; not just explain the situation.

It is only when you are in a sacrifice mode, God will reverse the role of worship. There is something greater in a man that God notices: sacrifice. It actually allows Him to honor your sacrifice. What an awesome exchange to invite God into the situation that you are talking to. It is a great resource exchange and a great resource management the Channel can do.

Out of 100

2010-08-21T20:36:00.000-07:00

I just a watched a documentary on Autism.

out of 100..

- 30 will be affected permenantly
- 15 can lead a normal and complacent life
- 10 will show extraordinary development and intelligence (esp. music and science)

Wow.

The way to help them: Attract their attention. Be slow. They can understand you.

None

2010-08-17T20:57:00.000-07:00

"Melvin, I still like your eyes."

"Really impressed me. What special lens?" Ans: None.

You are good, You are good
When there's nothing good in me
You are love, You are love
On display for all to see

You are light, You are light
When the darkness closes in
You are hope, You are hope
You have covered all my sins

You are peace, You are peace
When my fear is crippling
You are true, You are true
Ever in my wandering

You are joy, You are joy
You're the reason that i sing
You are life, You are life
In you death has lost its sting

Oh, i'm running to your arms
I'm running to your arms
The riches of your love will always be enough
Nothing compares to your embrace
Light of the world
Forever reign

You are more, You are more
Than my words will ever say
You are Lord, You are Lord
All creation will proclaim

You are here, You are here
In your presence i'm made whole
You are God, You are God
Of all else i'm letting go

Hallelujah, forever
All the glory, forever
All the praise to you

My heart will sing
No other name
Jesus Jesus

Let them think.

2010-08-16T17:55:00.000-07:00

"Mel, God changed your life. You weren't like that last time."

"Melvin, I am sorry that you had to take that role for the last one month.
You do have a brain of a PhD student. You did it amazingly."

"Melvin, I love you as my leader and friend!"

"Brought back to what seems to feel like Karuizawa with a local touch and much learnt about oneself. Welcome to earth. Thanks Mel :)"

Misunderstood and misrepresented.
Let them think.
______________________________________

Greatness is followed.

2010-08-13T22:52:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I really dislike being misunderstood and misrepresented.

Sunday - Malaysia
Monday - Malaysia
Tuesday - Leaders Meeting
Wednesday - Customer Meeting
Thursday - Home
Friday - Cell Group Meeting
Saturday - Airport

I hardly even take a holiday off from my schedule and when I am gone, everyone seems to hate me for me. 2 days out of 7 days. 1 trip out of 2 months.
I feel that I have balanced it to the best I know how.

Sometimes, I just wish I can be selfish.

I send the sick and in-need home. But people see it as foolishness.
They curse me with disease.
I do not want to end up with no friends like my predecessors.

When you had help from others, you never thought who helped them first.
You were well-liked because someone else first sowed into them.
Nothing is free.
Don't behave greatness. Greatness is followed.

Being a manager, I am already required more.
They want me to spend up to 15 hours per day at work but I have reduced it as much.
I think I have really done my best.
In spite of all my disappointment and bitterness.
I still believe in faithfulness and being kind.
I am just not surrounded by the like.

They do not see. And they curse what they have.

My previous company keeps calling me when they found out they could not replicate what I did.
It is too late to appreciate.
I am sorry that you are sorry.

The moral is to open your eyes.
Don't think of greatness.
Look out for those who sow in tears.
Greatness is following them.

Perfect

2010-08-05T21:13:00.000-07:00

"Melvin, because of your stories, I feel a little closer to the real me.
Thank you."

"Melvin, I cannot understand your overly positive. It is uncomfortable."

"Good morning melvin, 1 year 10 mths ago, u sent a sms to encourage me to do my best. I will read the sms to encourage myself. 1 yr 10 mths later, I still remember. I want to thank you for being there right from the start."

I cannot be perfect.
I realize that.
And I cannot be who is perfect in your mind.

When you're caught in a lie and you've got nothing to hide
When you've got nowhere to run and you've got nothing inside
It tears right through me: you thought that you knew me

_________________________________

Perfect

Falling a thousand feet per second, you still take me by surprise
I just know we can't be over, I can see it in your eyes
Making every kind of silence, takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won't fall, even if you said I was wrong

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?

Making every kind of silence, it takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won't fall, even if you said I was wrong

I know that I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?

When you're caught in a lie and you've got nothing to hide
When you've got nowhere to run and you've got nothing inside
It tears right through me, you thought that you knew me
You thought that you knew

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my, just myself
Just myself, myself, just myself

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying.

The only thing that was moving, was me.

2010-08-04T00:10:00.000-07:00

Looking back at some of my crappy handphone pictures, I suddenly realized something was very consistent.

When I wanted to take landscapes, my camera had no wide angle.
When I wanted to take closeups, my camera had no zoom feature.
When I wanted to take bokehs, my camera had no leeway aperture.
When I wanted to take low lights, my camera had no exposure compensation.

But everyone loved the pictures.
Some even won competitions.

The only thing that was moving, was me.

What I can get out of a landscape, I grab.
What I can get out of a closeup, I move in.
What I can get out of a bokeh, I tilted.
What I can get out of a low light, I find light.

"I" compensated what will be lacking in my pictures.
Out of the limitations, come a new thing. - cranberries_empty

The item in my hand didn't change. I changed.
If the miracle in my hand didn't change. It will still be me that changed.

The only compensation for any miracle is the one exposed to that miracle.
Even if the item in my hand didn't change.
I am exposed to it.
I change.

Because in God's heart, the silent principle is louder than the speculate pattern.

2010-08-03T20:21:00.000-07:00

"I am blessed by ur twit. V v v blessed. ure an awesome inspiration urself. :)"

"Hi Melvin, just wanna say u're God-sent angel to us, the night before i had wanted to buy bao, sardine, baked beans etc but u've got for us. Tnks a lot once agn."

"Melvin!
Yesterday when Pastor shared about the verse, "Faith, hope and love but the greatest of all is love", I'm reminded of the word on this verse that you spoke into my life when I was at my lowest. This was the word that kept me back on track and taught me what I needed to do back then.

Thank you Melvin for that word! :) It turned things around in my life! You've made a significant impact in this soul!"

_____________________________________

Last Tuesday, Pastor shared about forgiveness.
I still haven't found what I am looking for.

YL just smiled and said, "Never mind. I know you did."

And I shared to her about "Worth It All".
I could see her eyes tearing and sparkled.

And she called me her friend.
And she repeated it to the zone.

That really touched me.
_____________________________________

Met up another friend.
Shared to him about the real purpose of David.
And the meaning of handing him the guitar that faithful night.

"Your Calling will consistently confront you. And it will silently keep doing it so that you will come back."

I could see his eyes well up in surprise.
Something has happened.

God makes no excuses for the sins.
But at the same time, His response is a silent "It's ok to be not ok."
Grace realizes a God telling a Man, "It's ok to be not ok."
And with no exception, Sin is nailed with flesh to the Cross.

'David' is that strange story.
He should have been dismissed by God because of adultery and murder.
But God wants us to know.
God's Grace is above human dismissal.
And when He lives in someone, He doesn't spare or replace the sin.
He spares and replaces the sinner nature.
He merely advocates the soul that He loves for the world to know.

'David' is not about a pardoned king.
But about one soul He loves.

'David' becomes the eternal story of revealing God who 'You (really) are'.
He saves and He loves.

If loving David wasn't enough.. Sending the King of Kings to His Cross would have been spectacular.
Because in God's heart, the silent principle is louder than the speculate pattern.

Speculate David all you want.
Spend time on the silent principle after that.

A spectacular pattern to a silent principle.

I would like to be

2010-07-26T20:54:00.000-07:00

I remembered my leader used to tell me that he wants to be like Shamgar.

I would like to be Jared Leto then.

Inspired to inspire.

Worship is an arrival.

2010-07-26T20:28:00.000-07:00

After the generation that left Egypt died in the wilderness, except for Joshua and Caleb, Israel was ready to enter the land God promised to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. The land was already possessed by people that God characterized as corrupt and unworthy of maintaining occupation of the land. He wanted to give it to a new people, a people that would worship Him, a people whom He could bless with all the benefits inherent in this rich and fertile land.

God directly told them, “As for the towns of the nations the Lord your God is giving you as a special possession, destroy every living thing in them. You must completely destroy the Hittites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites, and Jebusites, just as the Lord your God has commanded you. This will keep the people of the land from teaching you their detestable customs in the worship of their gods, which would cause you to sin deeply against your God” (Deuteronomy 20:16-18). This time in Israel’s history is known as the Era of Conquest and lasted a little over 400 years.

These 400+ years were characterized not by continual blessing but by a reoccurring pattern of Israel’s sinking into social and religious apostasy and idolatry, followed by God’s judgment in the form of oppression at the hands of the very peoples they were supposed to remove from the land, followed by repentance and return to God and His ways, followed by God’s blessing of peace and prosperity in the land. The book of Judges records seven periods of apostasy and oppression and seven corresponding periods of deliverance. The subject lived during the period of the second apostasy and was instrumental in Israel’s second deliverance. His name is Shamgar.

Judges 3:12-31 records the second apostasy and second deliverance. The Israelites were subject to Eglon of Moab for eighteen years. But when Israel cried out to the Lord for help, the Lord raised up a man to rescue them. His name is Ehud son of Gera, of the tribe of Benjamin, who was left-handed. So Moab was conquered by Israel that day, and the land was at peace for eighty years” (3:12-30). Ehud was the main deliverer during the second deliverance. The Moabites lived east of the Dead Sea. They threatened Israelite territory from the east and from the importance given to the judgeship of Ehud they seemed to be the main threat toward Israel during the second apostasy-oppression. But according to Judges 3:31, Moab was not the only threat. The Philistines, who lived along the Mediterranean Sea coast, threatened Israel from the west. As a contemporary, or near contemporary, of Ehud, Shamgar was the one God used to repel the Philistines.

Shamgar is an interesting figure. Only one verse acknowledges Shamgar’s role in the history of Israel: “After Ehud, Shamgar son of Anath rescued Israel. He killed six hundred Philistines with an ox goad” (3:31). While Ehud seems to be the national judge that God called to bring peace to Israel, Shamgar seems to have been a local judge (Schultz, p. 104) that organized a successful resistance to a Philistine invasion. Other judges recorded in the book of Judges were also local—Tola, Jair, Ibzan, Elon, and Abdon (Schultz, p. 104). While the better-known judges-–Othniel, Ehud, Deborah and Barak, Gideon, Jephthah, and Samson—had a wider sphere of influence, the local judges, or deliverers, had narrower spheres of influence.

Shamgar is an example of a man who was willing to be used by God for the purpose God designed for him. For the place and time God had for him. Shamgar was ready when God needed him. And that is the main lesson we learn from Shamgar. We have no idea what Shamgar did for a living prior to his battle with the Philistines, or after that battle. Shamgar could have been in any occupation. It is unlikely that he had a full-time spiritual ministry, like a pastor or religious schoolteacher. He was most likely an ordinary Israelite who responded to an extraordinary threat from one of God’s enemies. Shamgar did not wait for a spiritual leader to take care of the Philistines. He became that leader. God sent His spirit to search out someone who would respond to this particular need. And He found that man in Shamgar. By his valiant fight against the Philistines, he inspired others to fight. Shamgar showed up when God needed him.

Worship is an arrival.
An arrival of God and the arrival of man.

What Shamgar saw..
"A time where the Truth ran free (he became that leader). Birth of a song; Death of a dream."
Shamgar came Closer to his Edge.

When you cross that edge, there is an awakening. You are no more dreaming.

Shamgar must have ran through these thoughts:
"Are you scared to lose control? A subject to the gravity of that fall?"
"Are you proud of a bloodless stain? You want to avoid conflict in your hands?"
"Are you worried about falling short of temporary glory? Being a nice judge for a nice peaceful moment?"

To Shamgar, it was like the end of the world. Something was happening.
He took up the mantle for war.

1. He arrived at the scene.
2. He had a weapon.
3. He chose Deliverance.

That 3 simple responses became an awakening for him.

What is your worship?
Are you closer to your edge?
What kind of a price will you pay to deliver?

All God wanted from Israelites was purity of worship.
And He engaged War.
If this is War, then this is the Edge.
This is being a leader for the spirit of worship.

Come to the War.
Come to the Edge.

You will see what I mean.
You ready?

"God loves the most unlikely choice."

2010-07-26T19:54:00.000-07:00

"It was one of the most amazing discipleships I ever had. Something happened. Whatever you preached before, there was continuation. That was so amazing. i was blown away."

"Hey melvin! I just came from a mission trip. Really enjoyed myself. I realized that our mission team was really filled with people that are so willing and ready to serve! Under your leadership, though we are all stretched them, but at least we felt so contented and a strong sense of fulfillment and satisfaction."

"Love all your messages, your goofy jokes, and you just being you."

"You are a treasure to me, Melvin."

________________________________

Tomo practiced to become a concert violinist; he started to play when he was 3 years old until he turned 19. Then he discovered heavy metal. He told his father that he wanted to play the guitar, so they made one together. His uncle, Željko "Bill" Miličević, is a virtuoso violinist and orchestra teacher at Farmington High School in Farmington, Michigan and he has got the Ph.D. Tomo has been playing guitar professionally for years. He started writing his own music by the age of 17.

He went to culinary school and finally graduated as an executive and pastry chef, but music stayed his true passion.

He decided then to definitively leave the music business and to sell all his instruments. It is at that time that Shannon Leto, told him about an audition for 30 Seconds to Mars, because Solon Bixler left the band. Tomo was already one of their biggest fans since the beginning. He was selected amongst 200 musicians, first for his talent, but also for his kindness and personality. Five days later, February 3, 2003, he played with Jared Leto, Shannon Leto and Matt Wachter on the The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn.
_________________________________

The first time I ever went up on a stage to lead.
YL just handed me a guitar and said, "Mel, go up and lead."

I had a heart attack that day. I was caught unaware.

When I went up that stage, I saw an unfamiliar crowd and sang.
YL told me, "I know you could do it. Because you have it on the inside. I believe you can do it."

Years now, I went up on that same stage. Still the same unfamiliar crowd.

"Melvin, that was awesome!!!"
"Mel, that second song.. it blew me away!"
"That presence of God was so strong. You were amazing."

The moment you choose to fight. It comes with a price.
"But out of this, them who have been hurt or affected are still in contact with their salvation and stay on."

"Melvin, what was your revelation to fight on despite of it all?"

"God loves the most unlikely choice."

The introduction for the week:
"Melvin is a very conservative leader!"

lol.

Happy-in-your-own-sense

2010-07-25T19:09:00.000-07:00

"Jump as high as you can.
Jump and touch the sky." - Jared Leto

I will live my life.

I am so tired.
Why should I help.. When I am despised.

Feeling very unappreciated.
But I have not quite yet regret.

I thought I could sleep a little longer..
But I had to take care of the sick at home.
I thought I could have some time..
But anytime a phonecall, I lose sleep.

Like what Pastor said, it is a test.
Then let me pass it.
She said "Smile at it."
"I know you are tired and prepared a lot."

Then let me have wisdom to walk through it.
"Closer to the edge"

____________________________

"Hello Melvin, thank you for yesterday, and for your life and energy. :)
I know I keep saying this but you're an amazingly different happy-in-your-own-sense leader.
Happier week melvin."

"An awesome, awesome, awesome time of praise and worship dg @melvinlye"

"Just wana thank you for the discipleship yesterday. The msg was good, the praise and worship was encouraging. :) Thank you for your precious time."

Can you imagine a time that the Truth ran free?

2010-07-25T10:07:00.000-07:00

"You are my everyday hero."

"Maybe it is your calling to do this..
You know..
Many people got blessed in the end."

______________________________

Go to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQHv-fhHq9Y&feature=related

When I tried to be different, I got shot down.
But I am not saying sorry.
God wasn't apologetic.

Can you imagine a time that the Truth ran free?

Super unappreciated. But I will not be angry.
No I won't.
We are designed to fight odds.
And we only discover it..
When we are closer to the Edge.

Never mind. It's ok.

2010-07-21T19:27:00.000-07:00

People brave the new world: detaining ungrateful and forgiving unapologetic. - cranberries_empty
___________________________

I got a Farewell letter.

From my student:

'I'm really sorry though, that sometimes, I'm more of a problem than of a help, more troublesome than useful. Yet you always smile and said: "Never mind. It's ok."

You're always concerned about the amount of work we are given but in truth, you have the most work. I feel bad for complaining to my friends about my work when it's nothing compared to yours.

Sometimes when I see you so stressed, tired and troubled, I'd wish that I could do something useful to help.

Thank you for teaching me so much, be it about science or about life.

Thank you for looking out for me and everyone around you.

If only I'd meet another supervisor just like you in the future.'

____________________________

If Change was only the constant in life, Trust is the only constant to God.

2010-07-20T00:39:00.000-07:00

"God acts in a pattern based on a principle." - A R Bernard.

Truth beholds this: You can get angry at God's patterns. But never at His Principles.

He has never killed anyone based on a pattern. Someone just got killed in a pattern.
God never killed anyone in the Bible who got angry at patterns.
He killed in 1 Chronicles 13:6-12 because of irreverence (NASB and Strong).
Which is why some things are symbolism for some and non-negotiable for some.
Some need to trance and pace to pray while some can remain silent.

Rabbi Simhah of Vitry (France, d. 1105) gives an explanation. He says that young children are taught to sway when they study the Torah, "for thus we find at the giving of the Torah 'And the people saw and they trembled' (Exodus 20:15)".

We are creatures of pattern and adventurers for principle.
But many a times, I fall prey to being creature of principle and adventurer for pattern.

Doubtists over David's unfair immunity.
Doubtists over Andrew's longsuffering.
Doubtists over Elijah's whine attitude.
But my question is this: Was it God's principle or pattern invoked?

I never attempted to answer that question. Simple.
It wasn't written in the bible. So don't go there.
If your life was never framed by His Word, then you will always have new options in your life.
Options that can make your faith obsolete.

Be careful of being too knowledgeable in a pattern that it becomes your principle.
Do your principles supply the pattern or the pattern supply the principles.
It is always a question of source. Where did you get your source?

God has full liberty over His patterns but unconditional presidency over His principles.
The loophole for calvinism and arminism is always rimming and not quite yet tipping over.
They are both arguing about the dimensions of the Cross vertical and horizontal.
"Did God choose to save some and not save some?"
"Why did God change His mind?"

Calvinism is consistently presiding over His patterns (vertically looking at His situations).
Arminism is consistenty liberalizing His patterns (horizontally expanding His options).
God is neither.
God never applied the Cross vertically or horizontally for salvation.
He applied flesh to the pattern on the Cross.

The Cross was the pattern.
The Jesus on the Cross was the principle.
So we are all carrying our crosses and not dying on crosses.
We preach about Jesus though we are not Jesus.
Pattern and Principle revealed. It is a huge difference.
Get it.

Trust to God is fully trialing Him to instill His Principles.
That has been only Constant to Him since the Old Testament to the New Testament.

If Change was only the constant in life, Trust is the only constant to God.

You are never condemned by God but unfortunately fortunate because of His Principles.

The simplest extension of Faith is faithfulness.

2010-07-19T19:49:00.000-07:00

"I wish I can write like you.

You can, and you will. You will do far more greater than me.
You will reap the harvest of faith as you get involved.

Patience, young man.
You are on the right track." - Pst YL
__________________________________

"Greater days of love are about to come. We won't be normal. Jesus died for this. You are a true find.
You are the sole scout in this work you do for God.
You will light up and bring paths you travelled alone for those whom God called.
I am living in times of a giant." - Eujean
__________________________________

"Because of you, we are getting somewhere. :)
Thank you." - Boss
__________________________________

I am really surprised. I remembered the Leadership of the Cross by John C Maxwell.
Leading those who are above, beside, under you.

I am recording these messages down to remind myself to be faithful.
Pastor shared very well on the last prayer meeting.
The simplest extension of Faith is faithfulness.

When I reconsidered these 3 messages this week, I knew it. Janis was right all these time.
I really felt like giving up so many times.
But I always recalled the army experience of fighting the darkness.. is simply by struggling to put one foot ahead of the other.

Don't confuse movement with progress.
But don't confuse progress with heading faithfully.

Maybe this is my calling. To open paths.

Sharon is still as amazing as ever.

2010-07-18T05:15:00.000-07:00

"I was curious to find out ... how are you?"

Serious.
"I said that you were serious because you would fight for the values that you believe for. That was the type of good seriousness I was talking about."

Analytical.
"Your gift is really your ability to analyze matters. You are really sharp."

Forgiveness.
"How did you handle after that? I believe so. You must have been really hurt."

Good.
"Yah lan always said to me that you were a good man! I am blessed to have you in the cell group back then."

Instructional.
"I gave you a list of instructions when I was away. My dad told me that do I actually need to do that? But you were faithful enough to do everything that I listed and still understood my heart! Solid la!"

What a friend I have found.
I am so glad that I had the chance to be discipled by her.
Sharon is still as amazing as ever.

"I believe you and I are really humbled. Having led cell groups who have members that are more matured and older than us. You did well."

Her eyes opened wide when I told her who and what.
"Oh my goodness.. I didn't know that!"
We couldn't talk more. More than enough. :)

But still.. I appreciate. :)

Thank you for living out the 2nd Chance message

2010-07-17T15:58:00.000-07:00

"You are solid!" - Eigene

"Yeah I have been praying for you everyday because I have been thinking about you everyday!" - Pst YL

"And your members have been praising you. That is where I know and see that you have come up another level." - Pst YL

"Mel, I love you even before today's service." - Eujean

"Melvin, thank you for loving both of us; the width, length, height & depth you have poured into our lives have brought a transformation to us! Because you first loved, we're able to love to that extent you have been to! Melvin we just want to say we love you too!! Thank you for living out the 2nd Chance message - acceptance and love!" - Aaron and Eliza

"Hello Melvin, my CGL AKA the hero in N182. I really love you. Thank you for the encouraging words to me. And you are always N182 great CGL." - Sarah

"Hello Melvin. Here to share a thought which came across my mind. Thank you Melvin for being not just a cell group leader to me with your sermons/ preachings/ sharings, but being a friend real to me. Thank you Melvin and I love you." - Mag

"Good morning Melvin! Thanks for last night. It was great. Because of you, I've made certain life changing decisions. Though circumstances may change in time, but at least for now I know what's the future like." - Angelyn

That 'glory' part

2010-07-17T15:44:00.001-07:00

Just ended leading worship for prayer meeting..

Totally exhausted.
But the members came earlier to pray for me..
I was so touched.
I cannot ask more than that.
I am most humbled.

That explained the sights in my eyes..

"Mel, you did it la! That presence! Totally can feel it!"

"Mello, your worship was awesome!! Just like always! You blew us!"

"Melvin. Just wanna say that it's an awesome worship you led. You totally nailed it. We are blessed. And no doubt you will keep getting better for there is no limit with God."

"Thanks Melvin for today. Thanks for just now! You know which part of the worship I liked best? When we were transitioning.. where everyone sang without the music. That was a God-moment."

"Hello Melvin! Tonight's worship was awesome! I could feel the tangible presence of God! I really enjoyed that presence!"

"Melvin! You were awesome!
There are people who lead a 100 to worship.
Pastor always says that "don't be distracted by the person on your left
and on your right".
But you led a room full of people feel like
each one of them is meeting God alone in that room!
Amazing!"

"Wow.. that 'glory' part. Mmmhh!" - pastor YL

Angels and Devils

2010-07-14T00:00:00.000-07:00

I want to thank Michelle for showing me this song as my birthday gift last year.

Somehow it has become my last one..
Angels and Devils crawling in my world.

I dun want to become cold.

A new one immediately

2010-07-13T20:55:00.001-07:00

A new one immediately..

"Melvin, can I take your message to share to others?"

40 to 40 to 40

2010-07-13T20:22:00.000-07:00

"Hey Melvin, I just want to say that the message you share on Sat is really good and impactful. I realized so much about myself."

"It was mind-provoking. I didn't expect this coming."

"It was mind-blowing!"

"Melvin, I'm really blessed tonight. You always have the key to unlock people's mind to things unseen. Can I have a piece of your mind please?"

"You are very different. You think really differently and you stay on. I feel a lot about you."

"What is one thing that changed you to this extent?"

"They already have potential. But you were the one who released them. Thank you. That was really something."

_____________________________

My boss pointed me out in the meeting today:
"Thanks Melvin, leading us to the right direction!"

"This was the best data we receive so far!"

I am actually quite tired out.
I just want to be normal.
I don't need liars.
Is this the price?

Did Moses feel that way?
40 to 40 to 40.
In my deepest heart, how much further?

The Calling and Gift

2010-07-12T19:51:00.000-07:00

God appears to Moses in a burning bush. - cranberries_empty

The years of the life of Moses are divided into three forties; the first forty he spent as a prince in Pharaoh's court, the second as a shepherd in Midian, the third as a king in Jeshurun. How changeable is the life of man! The first appearance of God to Moses, found him tending sheep. This seems a poor employment for a man of his parts and education, yet he rests satisfied with it; and thus learns meekness and contentment, for which he is more noted in sacred writ, than for all his learning. Satan loves to find us idle; God is pleased when he finds us employed.

The Greatest Employment is always an upcoming during your poorest employment. It is discovered when you are at your most humbled and comfortable. So start looking around. Because there is going to be an arrival. That is your encounter.

je-shu'-run, jesh'-u-run (yeshurun, "upright one," Dt 32:15; 33:5,26; Isa 44:2): Septuagint translates it "the beloved one" egapemenos, the perfect participle passive of agapao), and in Isa 44:2 adds "Israel". Most moderns take it as a poetical or ideal title of Israel, derived from yashar, "upright"; it is held to contain a tacit reference to the word Israel (yisra'el).

Being alone, is a good friend to our communion with God. To his great surprise, Moses saw a bush burning without fire to kindle it. The bush burned, and yet did not burn away; an emblem of the church in bondage in Egypt. And it fitly reminds us of the church in every age, under its severest persecutions kept by the presence of God from being destroyed. Something has become deserving and also undeserving before us.

Fire is an emblem, in Scripture, of the Divine holiness and justice, also of the afflictions and trials with which God proves and purifies his people, and even of that baptism of the Holy Ghost, by which sinful affections are consumed, and the soul changed into the Divine nature and image. God gave Moses a gracious call, to which he returned a ready answer. Those that would have communion with God, must attend upon him in the ordinances wherein he is pleased to manifest himself and his glory, though it be in a bush.

Putting off the shoe was a token of respect and submission. We ought to draw nigh to God with a solemn pause and preparation, carefully avoiding every thing that looks light and rude, and unbecoming his service. God does not say, I was the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, but I am. The patriarchs still live, so many years after their bodies have been in the grave. No length of time can separate the souls of the just from their Maker. By this, God instructed Moses as to another world, and strengthened his belief of a future state. Thus it is interpreted by our Lord Jesus, who, from hence, proves that the dead are raised, Lu 20:37. It is a brand new world for Moses to go interpret and release it upon the people. Your Calling is to interpret The Kingdom Mind unto a World under Fire.

The name Jehovah.

Formerly Moses thought himself able to deliver Israel, and set himself to the work too hastily. Now, when the fittest person on earth for it, he knows his own weakness. This was the effect of more knowledge of God and of himself. Formerly, self-confidence mingled with strong faith and great zeal, now sinful distrust of God crept in under the garb of humility; so defective are the strongest graces and the best duties of the most eminent saints. But all objections are answered in, Certainly I will be with thee. That is enough.

Two names God would now be known by.

A name that denotes what he is in himself, I AM THAT I AM. This explains his name Jehovah, and signifies, 1. That he is self-existent: he has his being of himself. 2. That he is eternal and unchangeable, and always the same, yesterday, to-day, and for ever. 3. That he is incomprehensible; we cannot by searching find him out: this name checks all bold and curious inquiries concerning God. 4. That he is faithful and true to all his promises, unchangeable in his word as well as in his nature;

let Israel know this, I AM hath sent me unto you. I am, and there is none else besides me. All else have their being from God, and are wholly dependent upon him. Also, here is a name that denotes what God is to his people. The Lord God of your fathers sent me unto you. Moses must revive among them the religion of their fathers, which was almost lost; and then they might expect the speedy performance of the promises made unto their fathers. (Ex 3:16-22)

Footnotes:
a. Exodus 3:2 In this report of Moses and the burning bush, "the Angel of the Lord" is identified as the Lord Himself. See especially Exod. 3:4, 6. See also the footnote on Gen. 16:7.

b. Exodus 3:11 "There was something more than humility here; there was a tone of self-depreciation which was inconsistent with a true faith in God's selection and appointment. Surely it is God's business to choose His special instruments; and when we are persuaded that we are in the line of His purpose, we have no right to question the wisdom of His appointment. To do so is to depreciate His wisdom or to doubt His power and willingness to become all that is necessary to complete our need" (F. B. Meyer, Moses, the Servant of God).

c. Exodus 3:15 To know the name of God is to witness the manifestation of those attributes and apprehend that character which the name denotes (Exod. 6:3; I Kings 8:33ff.; Ps. 91:14; Isa. 52:6; 64:2; Jer. 16:21) (John D. Davis, A Dictionary of the Bible). God's name is His self-revelation (Charles Ellicott, A Bible Commentary). The name signifies the active presence of the person in the fullness of the revealed character (J.D. Douglas et al., eds., The New Bible Dictionary).

He died for both the Misunderstood and Misunderstanding.

2010-07-09T02:39:00.000-07:00

Misunderstanding

Knowing that it ‘s a misunderstanding, what do you think stops people from reconciling right away?

It is because a misunderstanding always has incubation time. The Misunderstood has to sustain tensile testing while the Misunderstanding is afraid of being proven wrong. Most people do not mind being corrected (process - the truth being added in) but they mind having to demolish the already-empire (process – of having to re-dig what was originally thought as well-dug). It is tedious and the correction process is long because it can never be straight-forward. People love instant gratification; it means you get quicker results. That is why Jesus had to specifically bring in the cost of foundation to bring an analogy of a fatality. Basically, Jesus was pinpointing out “could have-been”.

Mark 3:25-28

If you don’t build towards what should-have been, then you have to always listen to endless stories of what could-have-been.

If you are willing to re-dig to re-build, then you start to re-define the answerable. You avoid all other options and there you have the should-have-been.

You will find yourself against a lot of sweepings. The misunderstood always undergoes that incubation time and tensile strength is realized in your length-time of character. Jesus went through all that sweeping as the misunderstood and thus, able to sustain the both great Shame and Humility on the Cross. Shame (Eph 5:12) for warranted sins and Humility (Col 2:18) for unwarranted sins. He died for both (Mark 3:29) the Misunderstood and Misunderstanding. We like to say that the Misunderstood died for the Misunderstanding. True but not true enough.

Jesus did not waste His incubation time He learned to the Cross.
He exchanged all that limited time for a past, present and future.
Addressing both the Misunderstood and Misunderstanding (Matt 19).

The Misunderstood did not die victim of the Misunderstanding.
But Time forgiving the sins of the Misunderstanding.

There is so much to learn from the most misunderstood person in the world.

2010-07-07T23:25:00.001-07:00

My 100th Post..

I asked YL, "Haiz, can I just be normal person?"

YL: "It is like PK asking if he can be a normal person lo."

_______________________________________

"Maybe 'thought that 'understood you correctly?
Then you want to explain every single sentence you make?"

I paused. Then.

My answer would be forever yes.
Especially ever more.

_______________________________________

Misunderstanding is god of destruction.
What you missed could be either fatality or answerable. - cranberries_empty

I learned that the one of the toughest lessons is when you give your heart wrongly.
When it becomes intractability.
Misunderstanding has the power to lead. Even if it's mislead.

But the worst fact:
It behaves like 2 monologues on a single train track.
It goes nowhere and gets nowhere done.

So try to track back.
You will see an answer in what you might have missed.
Someone has been doing that for the people consistently.

I think that Jesus was and is the most misunderstood person.
In all His power, He had to resort to parables.
And explain the signs and wonders.
Because they were too instant for any understanding.

And strangely:

There is so much to learn from the most misunderstood person in the world.

I hope you be remembered for trying out different methods.

2010-07-06T21:12:00.000-07:00

A new Word over my life.
Thanks to Pastor for speaking

"Beautiful.
Wonderfully and fearfully made.

Walk with Abba Father to the ends of the world.
Walk with Abba Father for the rest of life."

After she said that, tears flowed like never before.
Being accepted makes a big difference.
____________________________

Eujean spoke to me.

"Thank you for your methods.
Thank you for your roots.
Thank you for your being alone."

"Melvin, by choice, You do forgo the result if the root of it was not truth.
In that you are a seeker of truth, trier of methods.
I hope you be remembered for trying out different methods.
Now I know why what Janis said means so much to you."

Once again.

"A leader braves the storm and creates new paths for people to walk on by smoothly.

My leader did that."

The Branch is still able to bear Fruit.

2010-07-06T21:08:00.000-07:00

Dear Pastor,

"areas of renewal"

Personal Renewal:

I want to be crisis-proficient. Somehow I feel that there will be always an incoming crisis whether in my personal life or ministry. During this season of accepting new people into the cell group, I realized that I have been called to deal with so much crisis "mismanagement". This is especially true when I feel weakest this year. All the hurts I sustained this half of the year is supposed to make me more "skillful". It is this intersection that I become the most involved. Sometimes, it even reflects upon my own life.

Since I cannot beat it, I might as well filter it down. A R Bernard said, "God’s pruning is to make it more fruitful." Which I feel that it is precisely where I have been tested consistently. He went on to describe about the Fruit is observed on the Branches and not on the Vine. This is the point that I feel that I have been put to bear fruits. It may be a crisis season, but the Branch is still able to bear Fruit.

Relational Renewal:

The ones that I allow access to me are really those whom I want to be identified with. For example, I allow a lot of access to Huizhen and Jimmy. It is really more than a choice or a garnishing; it is a learning process from them. I feel that their presence reaffirm a lot on Faithfulness and Integrity. They are people who are very forgiving and uplifting.

I would fight war with those who run the race. We need those people who are being included by the Heroes of Faith from Hebrews 12. Being a minister, it is easy to be consumed by power and favoritism. It becomes important for me remember the healthy intimacy towards those who reassumes my basic needs. It is easy for me to forget my First Love which should have always been my most basic relationship. In like manner, I need to reposition the crucial basics of those who have consistently uplifted me.

Purpose Renewal:

Reexamining the value of every activity in my life, I want to reposition myself in the area of raising more leaders which I have kind of neglected. Ever since last year in N182, I have been doing my best to communicate with the members, new or longer. But the one thing I have been a little slack over would be the disciples that I have in my group.

I want to repent and reposition this area of imparting into more people around me. Recently, I have received many encouragements (from zone and overseas mission trips) from people who have been updating themselves about my life. I need to make full use of the gift I have received from God: Open Doors. I could make use of myself more faithfully. The words and photography have become my tools of encouragement. I want to avail myself to raising good people who can be used for greater works in the longevity of the Kingdom of God.

Structural Renewal:

When pastor shared about "Don't confuse Movement with Progression", I felt checked. N182 has been praised by some leaders as a 'happy cell group' but one of my own fears is that it is becoming an activity center without a spiritual camp. I decided to spend more time on personally meeting up each and every connect group within and share on the topic of Revelation and Dreams.

I really am not sure whether I have done a good job because this is my first time having a mass discipleship other than regular cell group meetings. But to go into every detail fancied by the members' thoughts, I did feel a strange empowerment. I thoroughly enjoyed smiling and talking to each one of them about the Revelations that God has placed over them. Like a structure that needs renewing cells, the Bible says without Visions and Dreams, people perish. By undertaking their Revelations, we are revealing their Vision and Dream tunnels, and there is new life upon the cell group proper. I am already beginning to see the people are slowly getting happier and excited about living life. And this is the real activity of leading cell group: Life is good.

Cultural Renewal:

Pastor started by saying "There is a new shift of the impact of the organization on society." I know that I want to be part of that shift of impact. But it would require Responsibility Thinking.

While I was reading on Victor Lim Fei's writings ever since Pastor Kong's saga, I realized his personal efforts of going against a misinformed media. But more than that, I saw Responsibility Thinking on the inside. He was taking ownership of the situation.

Personally, I am not sure how I can create Cultural Renewal but I want to dare myself in the area of Responsibility Thinking. My new career demands a lot of Responsibility Thinking, especially in the area of leadership and project management. And Moses experienced the same thing, having to "own" God's people as His own. But this is it with dealing the Babylonian or Worldly culture. The first initiative is to "own" or proclaim ownership over the lost.

If you have read this far, I thank you.

Melvin

Happiness is expectation met.

2010-07-06T00:58:00.000-07:00

Seriously..

I am fully Biopsychosociospiritual being..

Within 48 hours, I would have attended 7 meetings.

- Part Scientist
- Part Manager
- Part Father
- Part Discipler
- Part Church Worker

Eigene was saying that normal people rest on Sat and Sun and work on Mon and Tue.
She works on Sat and Sun and rest on alternate days. So every Monday is Happy Day.

I work from Monday to Sunday. I think only meal-times are spared.
And then, boss asked me along for lunch meeting discussions..
Last week, boss asked, "Can you come out on Sunday or Monday morning meeting 730am? It is urgent."

A new excitement.
Discipleship, sermons, writings, discussions, programmings, even taking care of overseas delegates.
Someone just asked me, "Are you a church staff?"

Yeah, part-time.
So they stop asking me more questions.

Next question, "How come you don't sleep?"
______________________________________

Someone asked me last night, "How do you segment-ize whether you are happy?"
When your ways are committed to the Lord.
That means your (ways) commitment is issued with contentment.

Happiness is expectation met.
Contentment is having met unexpectations.
I want to say.. Everything is happening un-expectedly for me.
Holistic or not.

I am not happy.
Please understand.
Just the going gets Happy.
"Where there are broken hearts, there you find God."
Not the Happy gets going.

I do not know where this is going.
I just told someone close, "I am your Archangel. Praying war with you."
Going to where Giants are going.

God sings to them?

2010-07-01T22:06:00.000-07:00

I am so inspired today.
A few nights ago, people mistaken me to be a designer and a free lance photographer when I walked into the room.

Some nights ago, "Why do you like strange old things?"

Because someone has put in effort to survive the test of time.
It is not about sight sometimes. It is about a feel from the past.
It isn't a design flaw. It has seen and survived so that we have it today.

Last night, "You haven't changed. :)"

Because from the inside, I haven't lose hope.

I wrote these out.

________________________________

A Lover with love on Your lips and Grace on Your tongue.

In death there's forgiveness, and forgiveness calls on a new life.

Teach me how to love as much as You teach me how to die.

God has Hands that circle us like a Wedding Band.

________________________________

A new thought.

Have you ever wonder the songs you written..

God sings to them?

This is how I see you and me and everyone

2010-07-01T20:21:00.000-07:00

Song facts about Iris..

1- Lead singer Johnny Rzeznik wrote this. He had a terrible case of writer's block before coming up with this. He even went to a psychiatrist for help.

2- This is about a person with an invisible identity who no one understands. Then, he finds true love. He wants his true love to know that he exists and that she is the only person in the world who can understand and love him - hence the last line, "I just want you to know who I am." The title means this is how I see you and me and everyone.

3- The name "Iris" was inspired by a Country singer named Iris DeMent, whose name Rzeznik came across while reading a magazine. This was confirmed in a 1999 interview with Goo's bass player Robbie Takac in Addicted To Noise.

4- This was nominated for Grammys in the categories Song Of The Year, Record Of The Near, and Best Pop Performance By Duo Or Group.

It didn't win any of them.

What if I just make her a little pair of wings out of paper?

2010-07-01T19:29:00.000-07:00

"Hey aren't you that guy..."

Say what you want.

I remembered watching this movie during one of my truant expeditions.

The girl beside me was crying.
And she hated me for NOT crying.

I was puzzled.
Really.

We argued that day. Quite badly because it was firm.
I cannot understand the crying.
What was happening to me everyday was apparently a brand new experience for her.

A sacrifice is never from the conditional.
Only the cost is.
A sacrifice is always stamped out from willingness.
Because the exchange is high rated and needs to be overcome.

Simply put.
If you were given this opportunity, would you let go of everything?
The truth is.
Most people would not.
And that is why it is easy to feel touched.
For the courage that you do not have, you retrieve it from others.

But for those who have the courage.
We have started counting the cost to pay up.
Embarking on that makes you less emotional.

But that courage must be mixed with Truth.
Courage without Truth is just blindness.
And you can check Courage.
By reaffirming it with other angels who will go through the likes, like you.

Just like the Angel who fell in this story.
Seth.
_________________________________

Seth: You're an excellent doctor.
Maggie: How do you know?
Seth: I have a feeling.
Maggie: That's pretty flimsy evidence.
Seth: Close your eyes. It's just for a moment.

Seth: What am I doing?
Maggie: You're... touching me.
Seth: Touch. How do you know?
Maggie: Because, I feel it.
Seth: You should trust that. You don't trust it enough.

_________________________________

Maggie: What happened?
Seth: Free will.
_________________________________

Seth: The little girl asked me if she could be an angel.
Cassiel: They all want wings.
Seth: I never know what to say.
Cassiel: Tell them the truth. Angels aren't human. We were never human.
Seth: What if I just make her a little pair of wings out of paper?
_________________________________

Seth: Why do people cry?
Maggie: What do you mean?
Seth: I mean, what happens physically?
Maggie: Well... umm... tear ducts operate on a normal basis to lubricate and protect the eye and when you have an emotion they overact and create tears.

Seth: Why? Why do they overact?
Maggie: [pause] I don't know.

Seth: Maybe... maybe emotion becomes so intense your body just can't contain it. Your mind and your feelings become too powerful, and your body weeps.

_________________________________

Nathaniel Messinger: Listen, kid: he gave these bozos the greatest gift in the universe - you think he didn't give it to us, too?
Seth: Which gift?
Nathaniel Messinger: Free will, brother. Free will.
_________________________________

Maggie Rice: We fight for people's lives in here, right?
Jordan Ferris: Uh-huh.
Maggie Rice: Don't you ever wonder who it is we're fighting with?

Consciousness is routing your choices.

2010-06-30T18:31:00.000-07:00

Team Edward and Team Jacob.
Invigorating vs loyalty.

Thought-reader vs persistence.
It was obvious to me about Edward. The undead nature is always life-seeking.

"A contest between 'what I should' and 'what I am'." I completely agree but only that J is what 'she really is' and E is what 'she should'.

Bella's quest for the mysterious side is often confusion and blatant rebellion. Edward is aligned to that selfishness. An exclusive and nonconformist nature. Selfishness is the first gift for romance. In fact, his character is unkind. He wouldn't represent loyalty.

Unfortunately, Jacob's enthusiasm is seen as the mysterious that is non-invigorating. But Jacob was the better man. But because of his ability to give in spite of all.

Bella is led by fantasy. A blatant truth and unfulfilling. The reason for that double-minded is simply her fantasy is telling her she 'should' have edward. And her truth is telling her she 'is' onto Jacob. Not the other way that the stories says. Because she is not ruled for conscious. If she is, then consciousness would not lie to get through. Consciousness is routing your choices.

One brings life and another brings future. It is obvious that a life aligned to the invigorating destroys you. The invigorating takes your own to sustain its own. It is vampiric by nature. You will have to change your own values but only retain personality. Most would choose personality above values. When fantasy is top fashion.

The life aligned to loyalty is always boring. But it is always giving. The loyalist takes his own to sustain yours. It is sacrificial by nature. You have to compromise on your personality but at the price of keeping your values. This is harder choice because it is vibrant.

It is a different way of seeing things.
When you are choosing loyalty and invigorating.

Obviously.. I am team Jasper.

Descriptive of my world

2010-06-29T22:55:00.000-07:00

This is so descriptive of my world.

Forever going to be bad at lies.

2010-06-29T01:11:00.001-07:00

"Very pretty!!"

I know.
It was there in my sight. Way before the transformation.

I saw it.
And I said to you.
In infant stage.
Don't believe me.. but believed others.

When I knew the flaws, I still love it.
Because I seen something more than shallow.

I joke about appearances.
But I am straight forward looking on the inside.

But now everyone crowds around you.
Rallies you. Celebrates you.
I remember you used to tell me that you were always alone.
And now you are not.
They love you for your talents.
I'm happy for you.
I was there when you were dreaming.
Realizing that dream became my exit.

I am a bad liar.
Forever going to be bad at lies.

YL: "Loyalty. I love you for your loyalty. Not many people appreciate that anymore."

_____________________________

"And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive"

I will allow entry to what remains useful.

2010-06-28T23:29:00.000-07:00

"So let those good thoughts fill your head."

"When you done the best you could.."
"Be the best you can be."
"Nothing is beyond you."
"Gotta feel that pride."

This band is allowed on Sesame Street for only one good reason.
Because it can change a world of influence.

I will allow entry to what remains useful.

Can I finally let it down now?

2010-06-27T03:40:00.000-07:00

"Are you the guy from Haiti?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I am not too sure. But you look kinda like him."

___________________________

"YL ask me to ask you."

"Why?"

"Because you can remember everything and everyone very well!"

___________________________

"We want you to come!!"

"Why?"

"You are like our zone's super leader la. If you are gone, then how??"

___________________________

"Thank God you didn't go to drama."

"Why?"

"Because if you did. Many of us won't be here today."

___________________________

"You should change your job, man."

"Why?"

"You got the EYE, man! You got it!"

___________________________

"You are OUR moses!"

Can I finally let it down now?

Be Normal

2010-06-27T01:49:00.000-07:00

"Melvin! Can you be normal!? You are so talented! You write, picture, speak, sing and encourage.. How can we catch up??"

I'm on your camp.

2010-06-24T22:44:00.000-07:00

I thought what you mentioned about speaking up..

I may not know what happened.

But it is an epitome of faithfulness.

You don't fight against people but principalities. And principalities are revealed in twisting principles.

You fought well for the principles that are close to your heart. You will be a giant because you protected values that will bless your people.

Don't worry.

You are going to make it.

If you are anointed for the job, the opportunity to speak out will always fall back on you.

And you will bring glory to God's wisdom.

I'm on your camp.

______________________

Wow. :) Thank you!

That is what's important.

2010-06-24T20:45:00.000-07:00

Johnny Rzeznik.

"On July 4, 2004, Rzeznik and his bandmates returned home to Buffalo and played a free show to give back to their loyal fans, over 60,000 of whom attended. The day quickly became a city triumph when rain came pouring down during their performance. It turned out to be one of the strongest rain storms of the year in Buffalo, but the Goo Goo Dolls did not stop playing. Rzeznik declared, 'We're going to keep going until this shit stops'. This performance was captured on DVD and CD for the public in the Goo Goo Dolls release Live in Buffalo: July 4th 2004."

______________________________________

Do you have a way you prefer to write? Do you discipline yourself and doesn't it have to be an everyday thing?

Yeah, and you know what else I do? I just run tape and screw around with stuff. For me, it's like, if you let yourself go real free form and no one can hear you, you can make as many mistakes as you want. It really is like a stumble, learn to walk, stumble, and take a step kind of thing. You just keep going in there, and everything you play sucks for a long time. You really have to dig around until you find a little nugget, and then you go back, and listen to these things. They kind of grow from there. I always write music first because in my head, the music sets the mood. It can put you into a place, and you will listen to that, and think 'Oh, that song is real scary.' So, you write some scary words or something. It's just these weird kind of peripheral feelings and stuff.

______________________________________

I've always had this fear that what works in your bedroom and what works in your house will not measure up once that piece is completed and brought forth to fruition in recording. How much has it helped to have faith in your band that the sounds will always be there?

Once again, it's just, what does your gut tell you? I mean that is so much of everything that we do. From the time that you pick up your guitar, you play the song, you put on the tape recorder, you take it to the band, you'll work out the arrangement, and it changes. It goes through this time and time again, just changing and changing. Then you get into a recording studio with a producer and an engineer, and it changes again. I always use the analogy of Michaelangelo. I mean, you've got to let it go at a certain point. If the song is good, that's cool, as long as the song can come through. We had a couple of experiences early on with a producer that didn't want what we wanted to do, and it turned into a real battle, but the songs came through. That is what's important.

______________________________________

I will be strong.
Melvin, be strong.

And they still don't.

2010-06-24T10:26:00.000-07:00

YL laughed with me.

They don't tell the truth.

And they still don't.

An unnatural forgiveness.

2010-06-24T10:10:00.000-07:00

Met up with YL for lunch..

I have really been protecting.
Defending.
Standing up.
For liars.

When I was younger, I thought that if I stood up for those in need, one day I will have my reward.

Now I am in a position.
Of being hurt.
Of being lied to.

Of having to let go and forgive.
This feeling really hurts.

All those words said..
They don't hold water anymore.
You sing another tune from what you told me.
All alibis and lies.

YL said, "it would take a miracle."
Word says, "Grace that is more than enough."

In the end, I have to forgive and yet continue protecting.

The Grace I received is not Strength.
It is Forgiveness.
An unnatural forgiveness.
With empty words.

I hate lies. I really do.
They have done nothing but made me more bitter.
Work. Work. Work.
This ant hill is so undeserving.
I bless others and I do not receive.

I asked, "Why no one would question credibility anymore?"
YL smiled, "What makes you think that they know even?"

Suffer the silence.
There are no great chapters for me.

YL: "They only want what they want. It is never about any truth, really.
Sorry, mel.
That it happened on you."

"They would choose wrongly because they never check their hearts.
I know that you know."

"If they close up their hearts, I know you always choose what I choose: let them have their free will."

...

Free Will.
This is the best answer today.
So this is a price for free will.
I pay.
Even God had to pay for man's free will.

I have not hurt you.
Why hurt me?

So who will protect me?
So who will be with me?

Why me?
Why does God still love me?
Why does God still forgive someone like me?

A little backsliding for hope

2010-06-23T21:45:00.000-07:00

Infinite Deferral

Chance must be systematically explored

Insomniacs for a good reason.

So if you gain sleep, are they no good reasons?
When something is abnormal, there is a lack of reasons?

___________________________________

I sang this for my 21st birthday..
Perhaps that is where my eye for photography came about..

____________________________________

I believe alot for Forgiveness.

Today can be Israel

2010-06-22T20:19:00.001-07:00

For a long time, we have been appreciating our leaders and our mentors.
Especially during Fathers' Day, I got loads of sms-es and short messages saying "Happy Father's Day, Dad!"

...

But for a long time, I thought it was typically strange.
We can only determine fathers when we have intervening children.
We can only appreciate fathers when we have appreciated children.
We can only elevate fathers when we have raised children.

I remembered my first Bible Study group.
Alan Wong, Rina and Zixiang.

I remembered my first discipleship group.
Daphne, Yvonne and Sarah.

I remembered my first connect group.
Joseph, Adrian and Clarice.

I remembered my first helper group.
Gershon, Shengda, Ying Ying, Christopher and Huimin.

I remembered my first team.
Sebastian, Beiwen, Eujean, Peng Cheng, Kevin, Melissa and Liyun.

I remembered my second team.
Aaron, Janis and Barnabas.

I remembered my third team.
Cheryl and Weeyang.

I remembered my contingent team.
Benedict and Cedric.

And I will keep remembering..

I remembered every single one of them.
Pst YL kept reminding me about creating a list that I pray over them wherever I go.
I remembered praying in sequence: Maturity, Relationship and Faith.

My favorite words from them were always
'Nothing is impossible for us.'
'Who says we can't'.
If we remain faithful, He is ALWAYS faithful.

I love my people.
They cannot be the best. Because they can only be the Chosen.
It cannot be a quest for talent.
It can only be a fire test of potential.

I wish I could include everyone on my team.
But I choose free will.
Sometimes we just got to let go, like a rubber band of momentum, they go higher.
Stretching is not everything.
Turning them into fire-proof rubbers of resilience is the key.

And I am so proud of them.
Many may not like them but they still chose to give their lives.

I have seen them cry as they read their bibles.
I have seen them struggle as they read out prayers.
I have seen them sleep in fear as they prepare for wars.
But they keep coming back.
Going through the baptism by Fire.

_______________________________

I remembered answering a phone call in the middle of the night.
Just because she wanted to give up.
Arguments and lies have gotten the better toll.
It was about 12am and I was still working in the university.
I prayed. I worried that she would bucker.

But the sweet voice answered:
"Yes I will be ok. I will not give up."

That night we slept.
Under the baptism by cloud.
Shelter for the weary but faithful heart.

_______________________________

There were so many opportunities that we went through together.
Heartbreaks, breakdowns, betrayals and lies.

But we were always like kids on a sunday school bus.
We put on oversized armors of faith.
Armed with notebooks of scribbles.
We didn't know what was going to happen.
But we still hop on that bandwagon.
Because we just want to see the Supernatural.

Because we knew.

Putting our best foot forward isn't everything.
Putting up another foot along is then Progression and Adventure.

This is my opportunity.
To say Thank You to all those who made us fathers.

You believed.
And you gave.

And because of you.
Our little adventure together.
Today can be Israel.

Thank You

2010-06-22T20:18:00.001-07:00

"You are my fav preacher from CHC so far!"

"Yup, u do have a heart to help ppl."

"It was seriously, one of the best writings I have read so far."

"You are soooooo humble and kind!"

"I enjoy your work. U r really talented n u have an eye for things :)"

Desperation and faith becomes synonymous.

2010-06-20T21:41:00.000-07:00

I was walking around the hall on Saturday.
It is such a strange feeling to see your pictures being strewn around you.

Everyone walked by.
Looking at their expressions, I knew that it looked like a paid assignment.
I quietly walked by.

"Fantastic pictures! I wonder which company did these."

Maybe because I am really nobody.
Nobody likes a nobody.
Your level of faith is introduced by your immediate expression.
Maybe I am just that strange person in your eyes.

My portraits are more about me than they are about the people I photograph. ~Richard Avedon

I am just that nobody behind the camera.
I know what I see. I see what I could.
Someone was telling me, "You see the Soul. You see potential so well."
"What do you see? Seriously?"

If you ask me to start seeing again, my eyes will well up.

Another came along as said, "You always elevate people up with your words!"

__________________________________________

Impartation.

We impart the Stronger to Weaker.
It is always seen as a transfer.
A stronger leader laying hands over a weaker.

But the only one event that reverses that transfer is Faith.
Faith reverses flow.
The woman with the issue of blood reversed the transfer.

In the realm of human effort, desperation and faith are two separate events.
One is likened to moving off and one is likened to staying put.

But there is one realm of human effort that is called Prayer.
Desperation and faith becomes synonymous.
It transfers you to a position whereby you reverse a flow.

Prayer is to have one hand on God and one hand on you.
Prayer is a realm. It reaches places where manual does not work.

Faith is the gutter that swings. It moves and stays at the same time.
It operates on a flow. The flow of Spirit.

Desperation opens up a whole new perspective on who you are seeking for.
It helps you to recognize the importance.

If you have been praying, have you felt for something?
___________________________________________

Last night, someone told me..
"Why should I treat that person as a priority when that person treats me like an option?"

Honestly, I didn't know what to say.

Stop telling me You-The-Great-Guy thing.
I hate it.
I really do.
It has gotten me nowhere.
Great guys are not appreciated.
But yet, everyday, I am still You-The-Great-Guy.
Not because I like it. But because I have changed. I am fool enough to follow God.

I kept my end of the bargain.
But I feel miserable.
Really i do.

Give sloughs a chance.
But the clown doesn't deserve any.
What a cruel realty it has been.

An aunty came over and talk to me, "It is so fun to talk to you!"

Really?
You think so?

For who I am.

2010-06-15T02:32:00.000-07:00

My new boss commented:
"Melvin, come along to the next meeting with me.
We need your brains. Your suggestions are solid."

"I want you to come along to our dinner."

People like you when you help them solve their problems.

But I haven't been "liked".
For who I am.

But I will be strong.
I will still be best.
The best in who I am.

That my finger will not be tired of counting another star.

2010-06-15T02:15:00.000-07:00

Behind all that Humor..
Behind all that Legend..
Behind all that Encouragement..

Is a person who is in the most need..

I want to just believe for another day.
That my strength will not be tired of counting another star.

"How do you do it?"
"Underneath all that hurt, you can still pull through?"

"Your posts are amazing."
"How did you get those experiences?"

When you are humble enough and walk in storm with those people.
You can't write about getting out of a storm without being in that boat.

You can't talk about Heb 12.
If you haven't paid the toll.

"How do you do it?"
To me, as long as you are happy about it.
Then I have loved you.
Smiling silly is not denial.
It is about learning to light up after absorbing all that star-gazing.

Because another star makes that 15-year-wait worth it.

Did I?

2010-06-11T01:51:00.000-07:00

"My wife teared when she read it"

"I teared when I read it. :)"

Did I?

Always inviting me in

2010-06-10T20:03:00.000-07:00

My first cell group meeting was Yio Chu Kang.
It was a really strange day.
I just got out of camp and a very persistent person called me.
I took that train all the way from Pasir Ris.

Met up with her with whom I have no idea or fancy.
We walked to this small living room which was dimly lit.
The meeting was ordinary but amazingly warm.

"This is a cell group!"
And she left me alone with strangers I have never met.

Then a guy came up to me.
"We believe in sending the ladies home."
As a goodwill new friend, I followed.
And ended up sending all the strangers home and even sent him home.

It was 2 am.

_______________________________

The next meeting was even stranger.
I found myself running from the MRT station to the house.
But I was late from camp.
The singing has begun.
I could only worship behind a shut door.
The house was packed to the door.

It was the same persistent girl seated across the room.
She smiled when she saw I didn't leave.
Said, "Let him come in and sit in front!"
"There is always room for one more!"
I sheepishly entered.
It was completely different from the first meeting I attended.

Every time she spoke the Word.
I blurted "woah" and everyone stared at me.
Again I sheepishly looked away.
I thought that I was the one weird in that room.
She was the one who smiled and said, "That is correct!"

_______________________________

She invited me to meet her husband.
Showed me the study room.
Told me," You can read ANYTHING here!"

I went around.
All the books were really musky.
But somehow I felt a familiar anointing.
I recognize Pastor Kong in that room.
The musky books along musky shelves.
Someone must have plough through these books.
Faithfully replicating.

What a strange feeling again.
She would share hours and hours about "Brother Kong".
She would remember words and words.
Sermon by sermon. Line by line.

Her favourite calling was "Just do the Work of God. Just be in the House of God."
She repeated and proclaimed. Repeated and proclaimed.
"Even if I grow old, I want to be in the House of God."

The revelation about "Worship and face an empty carpark" increases the cup runneth over.
She would tell of "The Good Faithful Servant" as the best means to an end.
She would tell of "Imitating Pastor Kong" as the best act ever.

These were words of Brother Kong.
But Brother or Pastor.
There is that amazing consistency in Yah Lan through these years.
Kong Hee didn't waver.
Yah Lan didn't waver.
A test of time reveals character.

But amplified and multiplied by faith.
Words mixed with Faith.
That is the true gift of Yah Lan.
She consistently amplifies what is already in her hands.

She was the one who told me:
"Be a man who shows Integrity.
Be like Pastor Kong.
You are different from every other.
But I love you just the way you are."

If it were blind following, there wouldn't be Faith multiplying.
If it were blind following, there wouldn't be Love over Law.
If it were blind following, there wouldn't be Hope for the hopeless.

Only consistency can breed consistency.
Pastor Kong impacted a persistent girl's life.
It would be exciting to see it in Annya and Joakim.
Because they have already started.

Once I entered into the house.
Annya called me, not Uncle but:

"Come in! Come in!"

_______________________________

I was so glad to be at the front when she was ordained Pastor.
My lens was heavy.
But my excitement balanced the scale back.

Every other photographer with special passes went up front.
Once again I was strangely left behind a barricade.
But I noticed that she smiled at me.
She knew I would be there.

Pastor, you did not forget me and did not let me go.

With highs and lows, I thank you.
I said before, "You can leave it to me."
But always and always, it has been the other way around.
Since my first cell till now.

Thank you.
For not leaving me behind.

And always inviting me in.

Dark Hearts Marching

2010-06-10T18:54:00.000-07:00

"Great note written, liting u MUST read :)"

"I read with tears...."

"thank you melv, i find myself reading your heartfelt post for pastors over and over again. very nice, very well-written. :)"

__________________________________________

Currently, the hits for the 2 posts have overshot my expectations.
Pst called me up and told me, "You seem to understand the hearts of the people."

Had dinner with 2 different people over 2 nights.

One knew me for almost since the start.
"You always deliver what you say.
You make things happen.
That is what makes you special.
And everyone trusts you."

Another calls me Boss all the time.
"You and I can talk.
Hard to find a friend."

__________________________________________

Hot Chelle Rae - Last One Standing

I need this like air in my lungs
This element tears through my bones
It keeps me fighting
Well I, emotions that swim through my veins
A fever that shows in my face
I'm not hiding
And this fire is alive in your eyes

Well I can barely breathe
And I can hear the dark hearts marching
I won't go down easily
Stay here by my side
And we will be the last ones standing
Hold my hand and kiss me before the hearts collide

Cold, the feeling of fear on my skin
Dying to find a way in the silver lining
The stars, they burn out like dreams all around
Falling like rain to the ground
But you're still shining
And this fire is alive in your eyes

Don't wake me up
I feel your touch
Your love like blood runs through me
You consume me

Without conditions

2010-06-10T02:48:00.000-07:00

"U know something Mel

I felt the Lord wants you to know something. And I want you to know too...

His love towards you is without conditions.

In your good or bad times, in your high or low, in your ups and downs, He loves you juz the way you are

Achievement or no achievement, results or no result, He loves you deeper than the earth

And you know me, I have seen you in your high and low, your up and down, perfect or imperfect, my love for you is without condition

I am just being who Jesus is to you.

Goodness and mercy will follow you all the days of your life."

______________________________________

That dream was real.
I had no idea that I will receive "no conditions" again.

To a scientist and a clown, achievement and result is everything.
Being accustomed to expected by everybody.
But to hear from people who matter, I know that I have lived a good life.

I am Peter.
I am Paul.
I have given my all.
While receiving Grace sufficient for all.

Jesus didn't call everyone Peter.

2010-06-08T23:36:00.000-07:00

Last night Pastor Phil shared a really powerful word on Shepherd-hood.

Some time back, I remembered sitting all alone in Gershon's room praying.
Feeling really miserable.

I lost my leader.
I was answering the inquisitive of sheep lost.
I patiently waited every week for that one moment.
I couldn't stand any disappointment.

Then a word came in.

"Go where no one goes.
Love where no one loves.
Give where no one gives."

That calling blew me off.
Someone has called me to go The Distance.

Last night, I heard an amazing word.
In between asking "Who I am" and "Who you are" is only one sentence.
Jesus: "Who do you say I am?"
Jesus: "You are Now Peter."

There is a singularity in that calling.
It is You, Me, I.
It does not include, it does not pass.
It is adsorbed to one and only one.

Jesus didn't call everyone Peter.
Because it is not Relayed Ministry.
It is Minister.

'No one' isn't a self-depravation.
It is singled out.
You and I have been singled out.
The Shepherd - one and his sheep - many.
That is the correlation.

One sentence, one turn, one calling.
I have been singled out.

________________________________________

The Distance
Hot Chelle Rae

I hear you crying and I know
What it's like to be alone
You're scared and I'm not there
It's like you're living with a ghost
Someone you can't hold
And you say it's so unfair

And just so you know
The distance is what's killing me
Time and space have become the enemy
And what I need is so far away
And so it goes
The distance makes it hard to breathe
My heart won't let go easily
I don't want to be this far away

I'm lying by myself
The silence seems to swell
Someday this all will change
It's a temporary pain
See your face and speak your name
Till then I'll scream into the night

And just so you know
The distance is what's killing me
Time and space have become the enemy
And what I need is so far away
And so it goes

The distance makes it hard to breathe
My heart won't let go easily
I don't want to be this far away
Well I've got my life
And you've got my world tonight

And I miss you (I miss you), I miss you (I miss you)

And just so you know (killing me)

The distance is what's killing me (time and space)
Time and space have become the enemy (enemy)
And what I need is so far away
And so it goes (hard to breathe)
The distance makes it hard to breathe (won't let go)
My heart won't let go easily (easily)
I don't want to be this far away

My heart won't let go.

2010-06-08T00:35:00.000-07:00

When I clicked on My Notes today..

7) I dream alot and i often remember them in details every bit of it. I ever did dream i had $500 000 000 in my bank and i gave out cheques to all my friends, and 2 cheques particularly to Melvin who has blessed and touched my life a great deal.

My heart won't let go.
I will bless the Lord with all my soul.

Just so you know..

Your gift

2010-06-07T09:56:00.000-07:00

"Yes, I remember you. Bright young boy performing with us at Jurong West at a neighbourhood event rite? And also some other church dramas. That was a great article you wrote. It really touched my heart! :D" - Joyce

"I must say that it is by far one of the best personal recounts i've read.. after reading your entries, it further deepen the trust that i already have for these 2 men of God." - Huahui

"Mel, u wrote well! Go for it! Gd leh ... I am inspired + touched." - Pst MJ

"I'm moved by the testimonial too." - Michael

"Hey, your notes brought tears to my eyes can... :').." -Aud

"That is why I told you last week that you must write. This is your gift." - Pst YL

We owe this man.

2010-06-07T09:43:00.001-07:00

Recently I was really impacted by the Asia Conference Drama about a star emcee.
Being an emcee, there are really many struggles.
You battle the inner demons as you are put on a stage.
No amount of spotlight can dispel them.

I remembered in 2000, being my first time in Church, a man was busy inviting people to come to the altar call.
Pastor Kong just finished prayed for the people. But another man kept searching and did not give up.
He was tall and fast in between the crowd.
I had no idea who he was. I felt a little awkward being asked to go in front but the man's eyes were sharp and warm.
It was amazing that he paid close attention to everyone he passed.
It was not a single ounce of hurry but every bit of pouring.

Pastor Tan Ye Peng was that amazing man.
You hear about him leading the social services of CHC.
You hear about him being awarded SIP award.
But the man is more than a face.
He ploughs faithfully.

My most personal encounter was meeting Pastor at the artist room.
It was one of my first few times being a wedding emcee.
And probably the million-th time for him.
I was extremely nervous and he called me over.
I thought of him as a man given to details and hawkish behavior.
And the first thing he did was to ask me with a smile, "How are you today?"
He did not challenge. But in every bit, taught from his heart.
A man of tenacity has every bit to give.

I remembered hearing him share in church of how he almost gave up.
Those tears were real.
Because being an emcee myself, I understood the inner demons he mentioned.
There is so much required and there is so much to pour.
I was so glad I had a chance to talk to Pastor before I went to emcee for that wedding.
He was never unfaithful.
He was every bit the real deal that Pastor Kong had mentioned about this man.

He listens.
He searches.
A brilliant man would have wanted the stage to himself.
But Pastor Tan Ye Peng just wanted to be himself.
Faithfully serving.

His mind is always about making it possible for everyone.
His mind is always about bringing the vision of God across.
A man like that will hardly be self-centered.
If it were lies, then it would not have been sustainable.

I am not a tall stature.
But Pastor helped me to reach the heart of God.
Like labor, he ounces out every bit of revelation so that we could hear about God more.
His actions speaks a lot louder than himself.
He has done much.

During SOT '08, he gave a simple word, "Go, do good works for the glory of God."
I ran quickly with that Word that year.
My cell group and I did an awesome Charity Concert called "WE're Able. Really."
And we impacted so many people. And today so many are calling out for WEAR concert again.
But really, the magic was the Word that Pastor released.
A faithful pastor being a channel for God.
Ordinary people doing Extraordinary things.

I could face my own inner demons because someone faithfully fought his.
From this man, I see what God can do and will keep doing.
He is able to do so much for the Kingdom of God.
Because Pastor Tan has been running with us.
He has been our Channel.
He has been searching for the things of God.
So that we can live out our destinies.

We owe this man.

Thank you, Pastor Tan.

The man I call my Pastor

2010-06-07T09:42:00.000-07:00

I remembered entering CHC doors in 2000. That year I thought that no one could be tougher than me.

But I saw this strange man on the stage. He is asian. He preaches quite simply.
But he preached with fire and passion.
He spoke like he knew somebody.
He shared like he knew where he was going.
I was curious. Very curious.

Who is Pastor Kong?

Under his wings, I heard countless testimonies of how he helped.
A man who would go all out for the people he loved.
No one was ever unimportant in his eyes.
So far, I have written to Pastor only 3 letters. One in 2000, 2008 and 2009. And he duly replied every single one of them.
And he remembered our last conversation.
A man who remembers is a man who persists.

I stayed for every service since then. Because I believed there was something more.
Thousands of lives were transformed. Even children and the elderly are being blessed.
We grew because he loved us. And show it.
He helped us locate ourselves. So that we could serve as family.
He never said 'his' church but it was always 'our' church.

I was in the Drama Ministry back then in 2000. Though we were a small team then, he believe in us and helped build a church.
I remembered performing my first stage in a makeshift tent in the neighborhood.
We serve because we believe.
This was the stage where dramatists can bless people in the presence of God.
He believed in this vision.
Is there any greater platform than that?
A place where dramatists can serve for God.

But who is Pastor Kong to me?

When we first shifted to Jurong West, I was one of the first few people to view the building structure.
But we were not there to view a building but to clean it up for service.
The deepest memory to me was cleaning the 4 basement staircases and the lift floors.

What made it even more memorable was the night of my 19th birthday. 3 hours of cleaning in the dark but I was excited.
There were no birthday candles for me.
And the stage is not the only place where I want to be.
Being in the House of God is.

And the doors opened. I saw a pair of beautiful leather shoes. I thought to myself, "I got to be careful and not scratch those."

But the most beautiful thing happened.

The man bended his knees down to help me.
As he got down, he said, "I am sorry, brother. Am I dirtying the floor?"

The man was Pastor Kong.
I was so surprised to see him so close to me that I forgot to greet him.
But the man continued cleaning the floor with me. On his fours.

This is the man I know and I call Pastor Kong.

Pastor Kong has always preached about being a servant. But the man need not preach. Because he himself is the message.
Pastor kept giving and is a very humble man.
I attended SOT and remembered how he would avail himself for every Q&A session possible so that he could meet more students.
He allowed the people to approach him.
He even apologized for not being around more often.

What kind of man who would value others above his own time?
What kind of man who would value others above his own knees?
What kind of man who would value the calling to serve above his own desires?

So many a times, I wanted to give up on myself.
I found the world cruel.
Relationships lied and hurt me.
But in one man. I saw how God can use us.
In one man, I understood how God loves us.
In one man, I learn how His Grace can be sufficient for us.
In one man, I felt how real my God is.

Today, my successes are really a blessing from God and a touch from this man.
I am able to lead cell groups. I am able to lead my work team.
I am able to lead because I learned how to love.
And I learn how to forgive and believe.
I learned how to have integrity.

Can one man make a difference?
Surely when he has God.

Who is Pastor Kong?
No better word than this. He is my Pastor.

Even if great behavior and kindness doesn’t bring earthly rewards

2010-06-04T23:09:00.000-07:00

Gal 6:7
Do not be deceived and deluded and misled; God will not allow Himself to be sneered at (scorned, disdained, or mocked by mere pretensions or professions, or by His precepts being set aside.) [He inevitably deludes himself who attempts to delude God.] For whatever a man sows, that and that only is what he will reap.

"Paul introduces his call for decision with a solemn warning based on an agricultural principle: Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows (v. 7). When people think and act as if they will not reap what they have sown, or as if they will reap something different from what they have sown, they are deceiving themselves and mocking God. But since the inexorable law of reaping what is sown has always been proved true, the proverbial statement of warning God cannot be mocked is also true: no one can mock God and get away with it."

For a long time, people keep telling me this verse as an answer for my situations. And I am always confused. If sowing goodwill will reap goodwill, then it has never happen to me. Because seriously, it doesn't and hasn't!

Someone said: "I always wondered why the last 8 treated you that way." And that person became the ninth.

"Farming metaphors obviously worked very well in societies much dependent on agriculture and the idea of “you reap what you sow,” is that people can expect to harvest the fruit of their behavior, just as farmers expect to harvest the crops that they plant. Therefore, people who go through life “sowing’” kindness and goodness to others, will often be rewarded for their behavior, if not on earth than in eternal life, and those who sow bitterness may face punishment. Paul’s precedes this metaphor with the statement that “God is not mocked,” and this could mean that even if great behavior and kindness doesn’t bring earthly rewards, it will certain bring heavenly ones, while the person who skates through life without acting in a manner approved by God, is not fooling the Creator."

I realized that everyone treats me conditionally. Conditions upon conditions. It isn't biblical. I am really tired of reading through conditions. Do you like being forgiven conditionally? Can I find one more honest person here?

Jesus did it unconditionally.
Stop being conditional.

Because if it was conditional, then Gal 6:7 will not suffice. And the Laws of the Word will befall conditionally, but it shouldn't be now.

I remember the image of the white dove once told to me. Last night I dreamed of the same dove. And this time, the dove nested next to me. I almost cried in that dream. Because the one most precious memory to me... is reassurance that I am not a conditional being.

FIght sparingly.

2010-06-03T06:42:00.000-07:00

Silver linings belong to the less dense.

Last night, I had a 2-hour chat at a carpark.

"If I were the one, I would have close this door and move on."

I smiled.

How many times I have heard that.
And immediately I know, there is really a lack in this place.
A lack of frontline fighters.

How many people have told me to let go.

Letting go of let-downs is always the sensible thing to do.
Because hurts are illogical.

I feel a little sadden that everyone has become selfish.

Maybe this is age.
A gathering of dense wisdom.
But lacking in reflection.
Reflecting the light for hope.
The frontline.
You won't find the dense there.

Amos 5:18
[ Time to Face Hard Reality, Not Fantasy ] Woe to all of you who want God's Judgment Day! Why would you want to see God, want him to come? When God comes, it will be bad news before it's good news, the worst of times, not the best of times. Here's what it's like: A man runs from a lion right into the jaws of a bear. A woman goes home after a hard day's work and is raped by a neighbor. At God's coming we face hard reality, not fantasy— a black cloud with no silver lining.

A black cloud is when there is nothing worth fighting.

I asked back.

"Then I would have not fought for many in the past.
Including you."

Silence. He got it.

Because now the hurt has been turned logical.
The reasons to This Is A Fight.
I fought battles.
Not as much as many before me.
But at least I fought.

I can only say.
I chose to fight.
Even when there are really not many fighters.

But me and my house.
I will serve the Lord.

Fight sparingly.

Ate instant noodles second.

2010-06-02T00:22:00.000-07:00

Finally I caught up with another 6 hours of sleep. Very soon I will be able to overlap the loss.

When I woke up at 3am and saw all the emails, I got really upset.

Went to read first.
Ate instant noodles second.
Finished my presentation third.

Immediately, the morning came and I bb-ed YL.

A Word had came to me.

Job was a friend to God (Job 29:4) and a Champion of Good and Moral service to the society.
As a result, the people listened to him.
People will hate or love us.
But we have been a Friend to God and to the weak!
Have greater faith and greater friendship. We will be present!
They take away nothing! There is NOTHING TO FEAR!

No matter how they turn and twist the internal molecules.

2010-06-01T10:42:00.000-07:00

I read in all the posts about the email.

I believe in "God's Original Plan" as preached by Pst Cho.
God already said so to us from the start.
No matter how they turn and twist the internal molecules.
An egg will still break the rock.

I will believe so.

That is my faith.