It isn't Grace until you have a go with it.

"That is why a paradigm shift is required before someone can be safely and securely rooted in the traditional Faith and Church. The Vatican organization lacks all the requirements for visibility. It is not One but many in belief, "faith" and practice, it is not Holy, it is not Catholic, and it is not Apostolic. After Vatican II, the visible Church hierarchy consisted of those faithful clergy, priests and bishops, who refused to go along with the new religion, but who kept the Catholic religion. Vatican II explicitly shattered the former identity that had long existed between the Vatican institution and the visible Roman Catholic Church, deprived the Vatican of its former status, its leader of universal jurisdiction, and its membership of the guidance and protection by and of the Holy Ghost. At the same time, it granted jurisdiction to any and all bishops out there, regardless of who consecrated, them, or whether they did it with or without consulting the Vatican leader, or whether they answer to him in any way.

TJ and his ilk worry about a "parallel Church" or an "invisible Church," but that is only smoke and confusion. In the bright light of day, it is abundantly obvious that the present Vatican institution itself is the "schismatic parallel Church" (not actually quite parallel but skewed so as to start where the Church was and gradually drift off into error). Thus it redefined itself back at Vatican II, and thus it has behaved like ever since. The real Catholic Church has simply marched straight ahead, somewhat fragmented from the lack of real universal leadership, and from the confusion and misdirection spread by the redefined Vatican organization, but still plainly visible in its bishops, priests, religious, and attached lay Faithful, once one knows where to look.

It is like the child Jesus, when He was "lost" by His mother and St. Joseph and they had spent three days looking for Him. Was He invisible? Joseph and Mary couldn't see Him. But the rabbis they found Him conversing with, and anyone who had taken Him in during the intervening nights, obviously could see Him. He seemed "invisible" to none less than the sinless Virgin and the saintly foster father, not because he had turned "invisible" like the Invisible Man but merely because even they did not know where to look for Him. So it is with the Church today. His Mystical Body is still visible, but many still do not know where to look for it. The rabbis could see Him, and perhaps among them was a very young Gamaliel, who would later go on to instruct that "If it is of men, then leave it alone and it will come to nothing, but if it is of God you cannot overthrow it and worse, you would be fighting against God."

We are careful in all of our evaluations not to add fault where there is only so much actual fault, nor to hide fault where fault indeed has occurred. Most of all we cultivate an all-important sense of proportion.

For "seeing God" is not about having some vision of an old man wearing sandals, sitting on a cloud, and manipulating a bucketfull of thunderbolts. Seeing God is all about seeing God at work in the world today, and in our own personal lives. It is about learning to see Jesus in the person of the poor, the sick, the prisoner, and all other victims of corrupt societies. When Joseph and Mary carried the baby Jesus to the Temple for the Presentation, all the heedless milling crowds saw of them was a young couple with a cute baby. But Anna and Simeon saw their salvation when they saw the Christ Child. That is because they were pure in heart and that is what seeing God is really all about.

When impurity clouds over one's mind, they cannot see where the Church really is, namely in those faithful priests and bishops all around the world who have suffered much to sustain the true Faith and Sacraments and Tradition, but only what certain others want them to see. They only see the false picture presented by the media and repeated again and again like Hitler's "big lie." They think of the Vatican institution as still being the Church, not because it possesses any qualities whatsoever that the Church must always possess, but merely because so many jounalists, prelates, and other prominent and famous people pretend to see it so. After all, "Everybody believes it."

-- Taken from 'There, but for the Grace of God, go I'
By Griff Ruby
(http://www.the-pope.com/there.html)

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After reading the above script, I was heavily impacted.

Just 2 weeks of not being able to hear church, meet church, I am having some withdrawal syndromes.
But it is not about a particular church that I am missing.

It is the Church I am missing.

I believe my intense feelings towards the Grace I have received is accompanying this.

It is when you have felt a Touch.
And now that you don't feel it, you feel the missing lingering.

When I feel Nothing, I begin to feel Everything.

"I can do nothing on My own initiative. As I hear, I judge; and My judgment is just, because I do not seek My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me. - John 5:30

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
- Philippians 4:6

I am blessed that I am stuck in situation that I do not know where to find Him and not in a situation that I believing only my own initiative. I am glad that the Grace that I received is real and therefore, I am having withdrawal syndromes.

If you don't have withdrawal syndromes from Him, you haven't depend Him.
You cannot understand humility until you experience His Grace.

"It isn't Grace until you have a go with it." - cranberries_empty