Because. I was forgiving.

Last night, I watched an amazing drama production.
About a man who forgave.

I teared when I heard the phase:
"You have paid for my life"
I teared when I heard the phase:
"Everything was done so you would come"

I have to surface above lies.
The perceptions and the words that I tried to protect.
Sometimes I wonder whether I am being insane.
Trying to protect the victimizer.

I questioned Forgiving.
Because I feel that the perpetrator has gotten away.
The perpetrator has talked to everyone but me.
While I kept silent as everyone listened. No one asked me, "how are you?"

Now leaving me to live with lies.
And a suitcase full of giving.

I washed down with beer.
I wanted to cry. But I want to forgive.
Blue Jazz was the first place we met.
I preached about "love" and "second chances".
The reply instead was: you are unusual.
I am caught into the intersection of crying and holding back.
Because those words were all too familiar.
And it makes me feel that it is all my fault.
Finally, the tears rolled as I was drove alone.

"Do battle is the only way we feel"
The battle is on the inside of me.
My tears are my way of battle.
Because.
I was.. forgiving.

Alibi
30 Seconds to Mars

No warning sign, no alibi
We faded faster than the speed of light
Took our chance, crashed and burned
No we'll never ever learn

I fell apart, but got back up again
And then I fell apart, but got back up again yeah

We both could see, crystal clear
That the inevitable end was near
Made our choice, a trial by fire
Do battle is the only way we feel

I fell apart, but got back up again
And then I fell apart, but got back up again
And then I fell apart, but got back up again

Way-oh [x6]

So here we are, reaching out
The quickest tongue to divide and devour
Divide and devour
If I could end the quest for fire
For truth, for love, and my desire
Myself

And I fell apart, but got back up again

Original (my fav)