I will beat the hell out of hell

On my way to my new workplace for my very first meeting..

I was excited.
Yet I was feeling a little lost.

Got to meet people in the team.
I wished I had more a familiar face.

Before I left, boss said something interesting..
"You are a leader in your personal life and church right?
Yeah that is what I would like you to do for the team as well.."

Just the night before, YL was just asking me about direction..
"We need to raise up leaders. But without compromising the quality throughout.
And sometimes it is the window of time we need to step in and step up, if not, we miss the kairos."

Everything seems to require my input.
I am needed.
Even required to forgive.
I have been given a privilege.

Will I be strong?
May I be strong.

Psalm 23:5-6

"You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my [brimming] cup runs over.

Surely or only goodness, mercy, and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life, and through the length of my days the house of the Lord [and His presence] shall be my dwelling place."

This oil mentioned is not used for temperate climatic conditions but instead in hot climate. The point is to protect from excessive perspiration. Whom the oil symbolizes, it is to fit them to engage more freely in His service and run in the way He directs-in heavenly fellowship with Him. - Amplified Translation

This is the sensation I am feeling.
I feel like crying.
I am still crying.
But there is a beckoning that covers me.
I want to let go of my mess.
But there is a forgiving spirit.

Quite a lot of people told me:
Be angry.
You have a right.

I love them all. They meant well.
My answer: No. I won't do.
I will hold true to my words.
I will beat the hell out of hell.

Because there is conditioner over what we say.
Everything has been placed before me so that I can engage.
Not whether I have a choice. But I have to rebound.
A week is really too short. But probably that is why it is called no time.
I am very emotional. But probably that is why it is called grace.
Esp. when I am most tired.. even perspiring.

Will I be strong?
May I be strong.

David, did you feel that way?