You are happy when you can persistent what you are doing.

I have really awkward birthday celebrations. And it happens every year.

2009 was no different. Spending most of the day in the lab.

But it was nice to know that people care. :)

Boss bought me a cake.

Mum gave me ang bao.

Members took me to east coast.

My very first birthday gift was actually a glass of Erdinger!

Quirky but I like it.

One of my fav birthday gifts this year (though I heard a few times):

"I miss your preaching."

Why?

"It is just.. different."

To think I almost told myself that I am really a fool to let go.

I know understand this.

"But what's the sense in carrying around

This weight, these words are tearing me apart

And that's enough for the back to break

That's enough for a mouth to take

But I've been paying for it since I drove my girl away

And that's the sign of a solemn man

I'll make the best of the best I can

And I'll be better for it if I ever get my chance"

Listening to this song. Now I fully conceptualized.

Being better is to be able to deliver what I am delivered to do.

Persistence itself is the reward.

You are happy when you can persist what you are doing.

A man becomes consistent when he becomes consistently endangered

I am so tired.

Tired of patient.

Why would everyone love to ask about anointing but few would pay the price for it?

Why would everyone love to ask about character but few would pay the price for integrity?

Sometimes I just wish, let no one ask.

It takes a hard person to go to the distance.

It takes a soft heart to cut the cheese.

This is the anointing. But you must be willing.

That is what it truly means.

To cut your heart.

The worldly will always hate me for discipline.

The worldly will always avoid me for bending my knee.

The worldly will always count loss what I count gain.

A man becomes consistent when he becomes consistently endangered.

Coldblooded Faith

Just came back from Karmel and Gideon.

I dedicate this song to all those I prayed for. I thank you for letting me pray for you.

I teared when I think of you.

Your Coldblooded Faith is not impoverished.

Your faith amazes me and causes me to chill.

Something that is coldblooded means that it goes beyond humanity and logics.

It chills up all the logical agreements.

Your faith stops heartbeats.

Like a dead man, that first resurrected heart beat is what I am feeling.

Give me a sign. God, send.

Give me a sign (Breaking Benjamin)

Dead star shine 

Light up the sky     

I'm all out of breath    

My walls are closing in 

Days go by 

Give me a sign      

Come back to the end     

The shepherd of the damned  

PRE CHORUS:  

I can feel you falling away

Robby - The Man who walked to Church

CHORUS 1:     

No longer the lost    

No longer the same     

And I can see you starting to break      

I'll keep you alive        

If you show me the way    

Forever, and ever     

The scars will remain     

I'm falling apart 

Leave me here forever in the dark  

VERSE 2:  

Daylight dies 

Blackout the sky      

Does anyone care    

Is anybody there 

Take this life 

Empty inside     

I'm already dead      

I'll rise to fall again  

PRE CHORUS:  

I can feel you falling away

Arisman - The Man who smiled and talks to God

CHORUS 2:     

No longer the lost    

No longer the same     

And I can see you starting to break      

I'll keep you alive        

If you show me the way    

Forever, and ever     

The scars will remain     

I'm falling apart 

Leave me here forever in the dark  

BRIDGE:      

God help me I've come undone 

Out of the light of the sun     

God help me I've come undone 

Out of the light of the sun  

PRE CHORUS:  

I can feel you falling away

Gideon Youth - A New Thing is not impossible.

CHORUS 3:    

No longer the lost    

No longer the same     

And I can see you starting to break      

I'll keep you alive        

If you show me the way    

Forever, and ever     

The scars will remain

Anton - The Man who will remember the goodness of God

OUTRO:  

Give me a sign 

There's something buried in the words

Give me a sign

Your tears are adding to the flood  

Just   give me a sign 

There's something buried in the words   

Give me a sign 

Your tears are adding to the flood 

Just   give me a sign 

There's something buried in the words 

Give me a sign 

Your tears are adding to the flood

Forever, and ever    

The scars will remain 

If this is heaven, our honorifics are just a warning.

The overnight prayer meeting went on a blast on 13 Nov.

(Sing Sing Sing) (But God) (Today)

(Majesty) (Yahweh)

The presence was strong. Yes. Beyond control.

I became such a miniscue.

I saw bended knees. I played in the dark. All those wanderings paid off in one night.

Those tears came back. I finally understood it all.

It was a privilege all over again.

I was so glad I never gave up being broken to God.

Now everyone is asking me to teach.

The hidden became attractive.

Maybe someday. Maybe somehow.

The anointing is based on desperation.

How many people will be willing to pay for desperation?

How many people will be willing to pay for depression?

A voice that still the storms..

A Name that breaks the dawn.. Hear the voice.

This is anointing. When you are willing to lead storms in your life..

YL told me that I am doing a good job on those people.

Thank you. Was all I could believe for.

If this is heaven, our honorifics are just a warning.

Remain Loyal.

The sound of an old guitar is saving you

I have been trying and tiring myself out. Figuring out what God is trying to do in my life.

He took away the project that I had worked hard for the last 2 years.

He put me in a spot of working on viral antibodies which I dread.

He pushed me into the good books of people who I do not want to be in.

He placed me in a stage gift which I am not confident in.

He makes me lie down on green pastures that are not mine.

I feel like the guy above. Crossing roads with the most unlikely of all things.

Ironically, I was using a manual camera to take a fast moving object where most people will be using autofocus.

But while I was calculating the shot (using a 300 dollars DSLR and a 20 year old lens) to do this.

I realized that destiny comes in all shapes and sizes.

But it depends all on my own calculations to see God placing destiny in my hands.

The man in this picture has an entire economy under his wings.

"Houses, Offices, Government can only proceed if he does his job."

Maybe that is why God chose the prostitutes and widows.

The victimized has destiny.

For the victimized..

Belle of the Boulevard - Dashboard Confessionals

Down in a local bar
Out on the Boulevard
The sound of an old guitar
Is saving you from sinking
It's a long way down, It's a long way

Back like you never broke
You tell a dirty joke
He touches your leg
And thinks He's getting close
For now you let him
Just this once
Just for now
And just like that
It's over.

Don't turn away
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Don't be afraid
But keep it all inside, all inside
When you fall apart
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Life is always hard
For the Belle of the Boulevard

In all your silver rings
In all your silken things
That song you softly sing
Is keeping you from breaking
It's a long way down, it's a long way

Back here you never lost
You shake the shivers off
You take a drink
To get your courage up
Can you believe it?
Just this once
Just for now
And just like that
It's ove

The Reason

"Second Chance"

My eyes are open wide
And by the way, I made it
Through the day
I watched the world outside
By the way, I'm leaving out
Today

I just saw Hayley's comet
She waved
Said why you always running
In place?
Even the man in the
Moon disappeared
Somewhere in the
Stratosphere

[Chorus]
Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance

Please don't cry
One tear for me
I'm not afraid of
What I have to say
This is my one and
Only voice
So listen close, it's
Only for today

I just saw Hayley's comet
She waved
Said why you always running
In place?
Even the man in the
Moon disappeared
Somewhere in the
Stratosphere

[Chorus]
Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance

Here's my chance
This is my chance

Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance

Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance

Eternity

Someone asked me "what is my definiton of eternity?"

'Eternity is the realm where God resides."

=]

I think Eternity is Establishment.

Eternity is a continum. Eternity is a reach.

Eternity is not a crossover bridge.

Isaiah 57:15 (Amplified Bible)
15For thus says the high and lofty One--He Who inhabits eternity, Whose name is Holy: I dwell in the high and holy place, but with him also who is of a thoroughly penitent and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble and to revive the heart of the thoroughly penitent [bruised with sorrow for sin].

Eternity is a coming. He lives in eternity but He brings eternity with Him. The logistics of God is eternity but the nature of God brings eternity.

Snowblind

I kept quiet. Not because I have nothing to say.

But because I don't have final say.

I may look alright. Not because I have nothing to reveal.

But because I want you to be you.

You never asked what I think.

And with this, I walk silently to the curtain call.

I wasn't smiling back.

I was pressing in my tears while snowblind.

Rob Thomas

Snowblind

(Chorus)

i think we're snowblind

we've had a hard time

and we can't see where we are

spending our whole lives walking the same lines

and it doesn't seem to stop

this is our life

it's all that we get

the days are all numbered

and the nights are all spent

losing our focus

we're starting to drag

we're running in circles

and we start to feel bad

but it don't mean that this ain't right

we just both need a little more time

he's taking my throat

you're melting my hands

you cause me to wonder as much as i can

i feel it all over

its starting to lack

were spinning our wheels so hard

its hard to turn back

oh, but when the night falls down on this place

i will be the one to hold you

when the tears run down your face

i think we're snowblind

we've had a hard time

and it doesn't seem to stop

Affairs Day 1

This Is It.. I will always be bold.